In Defense of the Stem

There’s a disturbing trend going on: Stemless wine glasses! I gasp.

The purpose of the stem is manifold, but chief among them is that it keeps your hot little hands from heating the wine! You know that wine should be served at the right temperature, right? If you heat it up, the flavor changes! It does! And since wine should actually be sipped rather than guzzled, time in glass could certainly give your hot little hands time to change the flavor (gasp again) of the wine.

Think how much harder it is to swirl the wine without a stem! Why, I can imagine the spills and overthrows without effort! Swirling helps to aerate the wine, which is a good thing, so you really must do it. You just must.

Nothing serves to aerate your wine in a sexy and spill-less way better than the stem. In your hot little hands, the stem lets you swirl and tilt during conversation, in a way you just can’t pull off without it, and you don’t heat the wine, remember. Think about it: lean against the column and tilt the glass offhandedly (right) and just be cool while you chat. Can’t do that without a stem.

Now, nothing says you can’t guzzle your wine, or even tilt the bottle right up to your lips if you like. The world will keep right on going if you do. And I’m no connoisseur by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, I rarely drink wine unless I am having dinner with friends; and it doesn’t even have to be a great dinner. It’s the friends who count. Then, I enjoy red wine, mostly, and I can’t recite the provenance or sulfur content blah blah blah. I just like red wine, preferably Pinot Noir. And…okay, I’ll admit I’ve had wine from a plastic cup! Gasp again! You gotta do what you gotta do. But nothing…and I mean nothing…beats a beautiful wine glass, with thin glass rim, larger bowl than opening, and elegant stem. Nothing.

In other words, without the stem, wine glasses just aren’t cool.

Choosing Colors when you Plan to Sell Your Home

One of the best updates for your home when you are planning to sell, is paint. Nothing creates quite the immediate impact as fresh paint throughout the home inside OR out. But it can go terribly wrong. I have shown properties where the colors throughout the house might as well have been clanging cymbals. The colors made no sense, and in fact created an extremely negative experience for my buyers. And the homes didn’t sell until they were painted, by the way. The goal for sellers is to make the home inviting and interesting, not dreadful.

Did you know there are ‘warm’ and ‘cool’ colors? If you don’t, take some time to investigate the concept. The fastest way to set up a subconscious frown in the mind of a buyer is to mix the two. If you have a brown roof, don’t paint the exterior of the home light blue, for example. Imagine a blue room with a gold/orange accent wall. Terrible! In the picture below you see a vibrant color combination, using a warm, Tuscan theme. The color scheme isn’t for everyone, but it works in a kitchen where pretty much everything else is white.

Another good idea is to start with a neutral and use decor to create contrast.


Martha Stewart once said that you should imagine your colors as if you are looking through the space, seeing all rooms in series. The colors should be complimentary, should not clash. They don’t have to match, but they do have to harmonize.

If you’re starting with a new home, you will most likely have the builder grade monotone throughout the home, and that’s fine if it is what you like; however most people choose to customize their homes with respect to wall color. Your home is the heart of your life and it should make you feel joyful, warm, safe. Color can do that, but choose a theme…mine is Tuscan. Yours might be The Beach. You get the idea.

However you choose to decorate, remember that when you sell, you want to appeal to the buyer. So be sure…whether you choose a cool or warm palate…that you keep to the same family. That way everything in the ‘background’ of the buyer’s subconscious experience flows and feels continuous. Remember that much of marketing is psychological. So don’t shock your potential buyers with disharmonious paint colors. One negative seed can grow into a complete rejection of an otherwise great property.

Not Like Me

Let’s talk about something other than real estate.  The purpose of this blog is so that you can get to know me, other than as a real estate agent, after all.  Yeah, there’s a risk that you won’t ask me to be your real estate agent when you read my ‘what’s on my mind’ blogs, but that’s the point.  I’m giving you a chance to know me.

When I first started writing blogs, I found it hard to come up with a subject; but now I find that the ideas impact me like meteors hitting Earth.  Lately, I’ve had several experiences/conversations about people judging other people, harshly and unintelligently, and my view is that it’s sad, pathetic, and a flashing neon sign pointing to what I believe to be a  lack of insight on the part of the ‘judge’.   The people who have mysteriously showed up to talk to me about people judging them…JUST when I needed blog material…are a blessing.  It’s strange how that happens, and thank you.  Even though they were all, to some extent, upset, sad, angry, puzzled, any/all of the above, they got me to thinking…  So my perspective today is about how people judge others because they’re “not like me”, and the effect is has on the ones being judged.  This is a subject near and dear to me as well, because I am often misjudged.  I’m an ISTP, in case you are interested, but I actually fall near the middle of each metric.  So I can ‘go both ways’, as it were.  I’m also intelligent and strong.  I’m left brain dominant, so my risks are always educated and calculated.  And I frustrate the living stuffing out of emotion driven people.

Let me just say how happy I am that everyone is not just like ME, because nobody would ever go to a club, or on a cruise, or to karaoke.  Nobody would hunt, kill animals (but meat would magically appear for dinner); nobody would wear goatees or mullets, nobody would wear pants with words written across the bum.  Nobody would take drugs and everyone would stay as far away from doctors as they could get.  Nobody would tailgate (while on the interstate folks); nobody would practice road rage.  Everyone would watch Pride and Prejudice (With Matthew Macfayden and Keira Knightley only) over and over.  Golf would be mandatory, and adult crybabies would be banned for life.  So listen, if everyone was like me, I could bring down the economy of nightlife and vacationing, change the face of men, and keep a lot of wackos off the road…that one’s okay… and quiet things down a LOT.  And life would be very boring.  So it’s a GOOD thing we’re different. But you wouldn’t know it by how we treat one another.

I had a conversation with a friend this morning, about how much I like people who live their lives in primary colors, the ones who fly off the handle and say stupid things, but apologize a day later in colorful and heartwarming ways; the ones who have no fear of storming into a room and announcing at the top of their lungs that the music is awful, for example; people who throw out the corporate job to go DANCING.  People like that are, in my opinion, brave and colorful. Wacky, but colorful.  I like having them in my life.  Do I want them around all the time?  No way.  They might kill me.  But I admire their moxie.

I find it fascinating when I meet someone so fearful of the unknown that they plan their lives down to the second, leaving no time for spontaneity, or even laziness.  God forbid these folks have to take a risk!  No way!  And I find the high-risk people incredibly interesting, although I might think they’re a little nuts too.  See, the thing is this:  Just because someone is different does not make them bad or stupid.  It just makes them different AND it makes them interesting, like using spices and seasoning in cooking. We all, in our crazy or mysterious ways, make the world BETTER.

Interestingly, some of the characteristics in people that either attract or repel us are a simple (taken in perspective) matter of brain formation…physical…formation.  Sometimes it’s about how this or that part of your brain develops, and over which you had ZERO developmental control, and therefore can take no ownership of it.  And in fact it just might be that any characteristic you name is present in all of us on a sliding scale, not an absolute.  In other words, you have no right to judge me because I don’t do karaoke.  I will watch YOU sing, but no way will I do it and that’s OKAY.  I won’t judge you because you like it.

You’ve all seen people on the beach who are in no way suited to a small Speedo, or even a string bikini, yet they wear them and think they are the MOST desirable form on the beach.  Good for them!! Everyone else may be repulsed, or even laugh at them, but they feel GREAT.  That might be because of a characteristic called ‘ public self awareness’, that has been found to be function of brain development in the anterior cingulate cortex located in the frontal lobe region (I looked that up; I’m not that smart).  Point is, they’re not stupid; their brains just developed differently from yours.  Get over it.   I’m reading about the brain these days, because…well I like reading stuff like that.  On the other hand, that same function can cause someone to be too self-conscious, have low self esteem, the other end of that spectrum.  This point is:  Just be more careful about how you interact or treat them.  They are not boisterous like you, but they are no less worthy of respect.

Listen, that’s a vast oversimplification of a complex (to say the least) subject, but the point is that sometimes people are the way they are because of their PHYSICAL brain.  It’s not to annoy you; it’s not to manipulate you and it in no way gives you the right to judge them, aka hurt them.  If someone’s right leg is shorter than the left, you wouldn’t say they’re a bad person, would you?  Then why would you judge someone harshly because they like a different kind of music than you or because their view of the world is different?  It just makes no sense.  When you sit down with your friends to shred this person you find to be horrible, think about this stuff, if you can wrap your brain around it.  Some folks don’t have the physical brain development to be aware of their internal self anyway.  See, isn’t life interesting?

It is no secret that the left brain/right brain phenomena have been studied and well documented.  AND YET, there are those who literally HATE one another because they’re simply DIFFERENT.  This ASTOUNDS me.  Hate is a strong emotion, and dangerous.  The reality is that left brain dominant people will be frustrated with right brainers, and visa versa.  But instead of studying one another and considering the points of view, we take the easy way out and we judge and we hate.  One ‘type’ is more likely to use emotion over logic; that’s SCIENTIFICALLY documented.  Yet, we judge and we hate and we refuse to own our own ‘type’.  Why own it?  Because you may want to temper some of the behaviors that drive the others nuts.  If you have an interest in peace and respect, that is.

Hatred like that is wrong.  It’s disrespectful and undignified.  But MOSTLY…it shows that you have never studied anything about brain development, about influence styles (like Meyers-Briggs), about personality types, or about how the brain actually approaches problem solving, for example.  I studied this problem solving stuff in college and man, was I shocked into reality.  At the time, I was married to a man who built stuff while running down the road from the hardware store, bolts and nuts bouncing all around, and the project coming into formation as he ran.  Picture that.  I, on the other hand, spent months deciding and planning, thinking and budgeting…you know, the boring stuff.  Big surprise.  Once I finally said, “You know I think I like this one,” my husband was running out the door before the sentence was complete.  And you know, he ended up building the most beautiful fence, with just the right amount  of wood and nails and paint and concrete.  And he figured it all out while he ran.  That was because he used a different STYLE than me; we were in different QUADRANTS on the ‘brain’ chart.  Amazing.  I trusted him more after that for project work.  I still thought he was a bit nuts (and I was right) but I believed in his project planning after that.  More importantly I learned that just because he didn’t do it MY way, didn’t mean it would be substandard work.

I think the biggest impact of all of this is the effect the judging has on the ones being judged.  See, people of a certain ‘type’ tend to clump together.  That’s so they won’t kill each other.  Sometimes they marry each other.  And then they divorce each other. hahaha.  But the bottom line is this:  If you can open your mind even a little TINY bit, just know that your tendency to judge everyone who is not just like you is arrogant and uneducated and it’s just not smart.  It’s narrow minded and unwise.  Know that you hurt people you misjudge, because these ‘other’ people are doing what they believe to be right, what they believe to be kind, what they believe to be good.  They do it every day, all day, with the best intentions.  And then you come along and labeled them as bad, or wrong.  And you were wrong about them.  Sad thing?  You have NO idea what you’re doing.

And just because they are NOT LIKE YOU, you make the unintelligent and narrow minded judgment that they are bad and they are wrong, when in FACT, judge, it is YOU who are wrong.  Learn something about humanity if you intend to live within it.  Learn that someone being different that you is actually GOOD.  If you have the intellectual capacity and interest, you can find out what communication style works best with others who are not just like you and you may find that you have more in common than you ever thought possible.

I have a lot of friends who are very different than me, and they give my life interest and joy, laughter and experiences I’d never have otherwise.  They add spice and sparkle and flavor and color, and I love that.  Life is better if you open the doors and more importantly your mind.

 

 

 

Haggling Over Repairs, etc…

There are several home buying companies out there, encouraging people to not list their homes with real estate companies, citing ease of process, selling without listing, and “no haggling over repairs”.  Okay, a couple of thoughts for you.

First, you NEVER have to haggle over repairs ANYWAY.  You never did!  If you know you have repairs that need to be done, PRICE ACCORDINGLY AND LIST “AS IS”, if you don’t want the bother.  Done.  No haggling.  I’m a Realtor and I do it all the time when my clients don’t want to bother with repairs.

Second: These companies will still do home inspections, and you can prepare for their offer price to go DOWN, depending on the “no haggle” repairs they find.  That’s right.  They won’t haggle; they’ll just reduce their offer price or walk away.  Just like ‘regular’ transactions, by the way; and if they DO walk away, you’ve lost VALUABLE marketing time.

Remember that there really is no “haggling” over repairs, if you consider that you own the defects; they are your responsibility if you are the seller.  And you wouldn’t buy a car with two flat tires.  Why should a buyer buy your broken house items?  So fundamentally, it is NOT an argument.  It’s on you to either repair or reduce your price.  That’s simple and it’s appropriate.  These companies know that this part of the process is the most emotional and they’re highlighting that.  But remember, you can eliminate that right out of the gate.

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL!!!!  Don’t underestimate the value of the FREE MARKET in real estate! COMPETITION, in other words.   If I determine your home value to be $180,000 and list your home accordingly, the free market could garner $205,000 or more!  If you let one of these easy buyer companies come in, they may offer you 180,000, your list price, and you’ll think you made out like a bandit; but they have also kept you from that extra twenty grand plus that the free market could have brought to you.  I don’t know about you, but a few weeks of waiting for 25 thousand bucks would be just fine by me.

There are reasons for the forms and the processes in real estate, people.  Primarily it is to protect the parties to the transactions.  That’s important.  Your local real estate companies are here to service your needs sometimes FAR beyond the actual transaction.  Law suits pop up years later, sometimes, for all kinds of reasons.  It’s a great idea to have had representation if that happens to you; trust me.  All that paperwork might be just fine with you in that case.

Real estate agencies are not an unnecessary cost.  Agents know the market, they know homes, they know inspection processes, what you are obligated an not obligated to do, and we maintain your records way into the future, JUST IN CASE.  And remember, Realtors build our business on relationships, not numbers of transactions, not “speed” of process.  That means we actually care about you and want to be there for you for the long term, and for your friends, and for your children.

If you are concerned about time on the market and showings, hire a GOOD REAL ESTATE AGENT, and avoid those concerns.  You have control over when people can go into your home; you can set the days and times people can come in for showings.  Didn’t know that?  Shame on your agent, then.  And if your house sits on the market a long time, IT’S OVERPRICED!  Simple, “uncommon sense”.  Reduce the price and get IN the market and get it sold.

Finally this:  There is nothing wrong with waiting.  Yes, your buyer’s lender has to have time to get the loan PROCESSED.  That’s not on you.  All you have to do is relax.  So waiting and waiting?  Big deal.  Again, if you have waited on your realtor and the process, then you have representation, and that might BE a big deal down the road.

I’m saying this: Beware of going into a transaction with no representation.  I’m saying, you need someone in your corner whose sole interest is YOU, not getting your home for a bargain. Since when did you trust any buyer to ‘make it easy on you’ when they were buying your home?

 

Real Estate Commissions

If you are a buyer, sitting with your agent to write an offer, PLEASE do not insinuate that your agent is a crook because she’s getting paid to drive your transaction, a.k.a. do her job.  First of all, real estate agents deserve to make a living, just like you do.  I guarantee you wouldn’t work for nothing.  Second you, buyer, do NOT pay the commission under ordinary circumstances (unless you agree to!).  The SELLER pays buyer agenCY commissions.  Yes, thats agenCY and commissionS (plural)  So when you take out your calculator an start punching in numbers know this:

The amount listed pays both the LISTING and SELLING side commissions, paid to the COMPANIES, not to that one person trying to HELP you.  That person makes a LOT less than you think she does.

AND..the person you are accusing of being crooked doesn’t get that amount you think you know. There’s a commission split, worked out with the AGENCY, and that agent gets a small part of it.  You’re out of line trying to tell someone what they make, when in reality you have NO idea.

Further…commissions are negotiable!  Did you know that the SELLER of the home you want to buy, and who PAYS the commissions, has already had the right to negotiate commissions?  Yes!  But buyers/sellers who understand real estate NEVER negotiate.  They just don’t.  They know what they’re paying for and what they will be getting in return.  The most savvy buyers and sellers are glad to pay for the services we provide.

Sellers, if you want K-mart service, go ahead and negotiate commissions down. You get what you pay for.  But know that many of us will not list your home if we have to pay your way (of course not!).  And yes, our listing marketing comes out of OUR pocket, FOR YOU, until we close.  And we don’t charge you interest on that, by the way.

I’m frankly sick of people assuming I should work for nothing when they have no idea how many hours I put in to a transaction or how much work I’m doing on their behalf.  I’m on call pretty much 24 hours/day.   We agents get calls, texts, emails at ALL hours of the day and night to help YOU (while you sleep or while you are on vacation), from inspectors, attorneys, landscapers, repair people, other agents…it doesn’t stop.  Every agent you meet with, has spent money out of her pocket just to be there…for you. Every one.  I even stage homes, FREE! when most stagers will charge you 4 figures.  Imagine that.

Please don’t insult us.  Please don’t call us crooked and dishonest.  If you have a QUESTION about how commissions work, by all means ask!  But If you want  go-cart, service, please go to a go-cart agency.  If you come to my agency, expect to pay for our services, because we are FIRST CLASS and we get the job done.  If I started out my first meeting with you calling you a liar and a cheat, we wouldn’t get too far.   Treat me the way I treat you: with dignity and respect.  Or, we can make other arrangements.

 

World Trade Center Scientific Truth

I watched a recently added documentary about the Trade Center and of, obviously, 9/11.  I’ve watched many documentaries and news stories, of course, through the years, and every single time, I cry, even after all this time.  This documentary was called 9/11 Explosive Evidence-Experts Speak Out.  If you haven’t seen it, watch it.  It’s on Amazon.  I was enthralled, because these were educated, experienced scientists from specific backgrounds, people with centuries of experience, collectively.  These were people you want to listen to.

I am a scientist at heart:  That’s how my brain is wired, that’s part of my education, and where I spent the lion’s share of my corporate life.  Science.  In general, I like to know why.  Why anything, why everything.  I am naturally curious and I just like to know why things happen the way they do.  This is the one and only reason I’d like to live another century: To learn more stuff.   In the case of our national tragedy, I allowed emotion to overtake my logical side, and I just believed what I was told.  That was a mistake.

After having watched many documentaries, I have finally had to face cold, hard facts of science, which clearly indicate that jets did not bring down THREE world trade center buildings: Explosives did.  Now wait.  Stay with me here.  I am not a wacko conspiracy theorist and I do not believe our government is responsible for the deaths of thousands of American civilians.  But I do believe, because the science cannot be denied, that explosives were involved in the collapse of the North and South towers, and building 7.  You don’t have to believe me; look at the electron microscope images and x-ray spectra!  I worked with SEM and x-ray micro-analysis for years.  I know what I’m looking at.  Then watch building 7 fall.  Watch the penthouse go over and down first, INTO the building, and then watch the building collapse into free fall (impossible if it was due to a fire related collapse) onto its own footprint.  NIST said the collapse started on the lower left front of the building.  If that was true, the building would have fallen forward and to the left.  No.  That building fell due to CONTROLLED DEMOLITION.  That, in and of itself, is the “smoking gun” as one interviewee said.  I agreed, and nearly shouted with shock.

Many of the speakers in this documentary were engineers and architects, civil engineers, physicists, chemists, materials specialists, explosives experts, and my favorites, electron microscope analysts.  Clearly, there is a mountain of evidence that there were explosives (Thermite) involved, to the extent that pretty much any sample of dust or paint you can find, has microscopic bits of evidence pointing to thermite.  But beyond that, fundamental physical FACTS, if presented in a logical way, certainly show that the planes were “red herrings”.  They were there to create a huge distraction from the truth, which was that these buildings were demolished, in a controlled and well thought out manner.  They fell because a team of people, over some period of time, planted explosives in those buildings (and maybe others) and detonated them when the planes hit the buildings…except building 7, which “collapsed” later.  If you watch this documentary, you will see these buildings’ collapses in a way you haven’t seen before, think about it in a way you haven’t thought about it before.  And as for building 7, well there’s a reason we didn’t see much about THAT in the news:  There was no red herring, no jet flying into the building.  There was just a blatant planned demolition!  NIST actually stated that building 7 collapsed because of burning office furniture and interior structures.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Last time I checked, a fire like that doesn’t burn at 2700 degrees.  And if it DID, no way the steel would melt, all of it, at exactly the same rate, allowing the building to free fall into its own footprint.  Not possible.  Work with me now: The parts of the building farthest away from the fires would fall intact, last.  Didn’t happen.

What disturbs me most about this path to the truth for me is this:  Most of the PhDs insinuate that there are TWO stories: 1) that we have been fed a line by our government that is NOT the truth; so therefore 2) the government must be the ones who did the deed.  That’s hogwash.  Wouldn’t  you want to believe that these talking heads would at least entertain the POSSIBILITY that we WERE lied to, and that there is a DIFFERENT possibility?  This is called “groupthink” folks, when one “good” idea is put forth and everyone jumps on that bandwagon, at the expense of the “best” idea, which is left unfound and unexamined.  Happens all the time.  And you can bet your booty that the government spin doctors know people have narrow lenses.  They know people won’t THINK.  Let this be a lesson to you:  PhD’s don’t alway know everything.  While you’re at it, remember this lesson:  Don’t stop at the first idea. Keep digging.  The best idea probably hasn’t been found yet.

Consider this: I believe that the government DID feed us a line of untruths, aided by NIST (National Institute of Standards and Technology) and others, BECAUSE they knew we couldn’t handle the real truth.  In my opinion, that’s why the powers that be were so quick to remove evidence before it could be thoroughly examined.  Listen, there HAD to be HUNDREDS of experts who knew, beyond a SHADOW of a doubt, that those buildings were BLOWN UP.  People HEARD the explosions.  I can imagine some of the demolition experts hearing those sounds and RUNNING to phones.  Running.

We can debate about what happened afterward all decade and never figure that out, but I believe that the ‘government’ decided Americans couldn’t handle the truth:  That there are explosives experts who can come into downtown Manhattan and bring down your safe building in seconds, without you even knowing they were there. Then they can leave, and plan their next ‘event’.  Wouldn’t that shake our world more than air travel?  We think we’re safe because of all of these new procedures at airports.  Yes, they are needed.  But what about your workplace?

Perhaps the government used this story, the one about the planes dropping the buildings, as a reason for us to jump on board with war.  Either way, countries that seek to destroy our nation, to kill us, need to be stopped.  Do we fight back because of planes, or do we fight back because of explosive experts?  War is war.  Doesn’t matter.  What does matter is that Americans now feel we have some level of control of our destiny, some amount of “safety” because we get patted down before we fly.  Well, nobody’s patting down anybody in high rise buildings.  And there goes, my friends, our safety.  And maybe that is why (idea THREE) 1) the government lied to us; and 2) they were NOT involved.

Imagine that: Another possibility.

Remember that in 1993, there was an attempt to bring down the world trade center with explosives.  Remember that?  I called that “practice” when it happened.  And I said, “You watch.  They will get it right”.  And they did.  When nobody was looking, they did.  I don’t have a PhD and I could see that coming.  I said, “Give them 10 more years”.  It took them 11.  Again, no PhD.

We  have been told that 19 Fundamentalist Muslims brought down the twin towers and building 7.  I’m here to say that those 19 men were the red herrings, the ones sent to distract attention from the REAL terrorist teams, who got into three of the largest buildings in our country, planted explosives, and demolished those buildings in controlled explosions, dropping them in seconds, killing thousands, and terrorizing a nation.  Imagine if you dare, how frightening THAT scenario is.  And, if I’m right, they GOT AWAY WITH IT.  Or did they?

In this documentary, there are lots of government experts, talking (on video in the aftermath of the event).  Now, you get to listen to their line, compared to the science that has been done in the last 16 years, and compare them.  I felt like I’d been punched in the gut.  And I cried.  The “official” story about how materials behave in certain conditions was an outright fairy tale.  You can’t change the laws of physics.  And for the first time, these laws, and analyst experts about them, present their results.  Irrefutable.  AND they state the laws about which they pontificate.  Just in case you were wondering.  Great stuff.

I believe there actually was a “true” investigation.  I believe our government knows the absolute truth about 9/11 and I think they knew it FAST.  And when the PhDs say that Americans need to know the truth?  I’m not so sure.  Think about how frightening the truth is if I’m right…and I’d bet a big chunk of money that I am.

The majority of Americans don’t fly every day, but a majority DO go into big buildings every day, and imagine if any/every one of those buildings could drop within its footprint in less than 10 seconds.  If you think about that, you will know why we don’t want our kids and grandkids thinking about that scenario.  What we were given to think about, was enough.

I guess the gist of this blog is this: I make it my JOB to try to examine multiple facets.  So I watch for groupthink.  And I am furious when top of the tree experts get so narrowly focused that they miss the forest for the trees.   Watch the documentary and don’t believe people when they say there are two stories.  There are ALWAYS more.  And not that it matters to anybody  but me, but it took a LONG time for me to really look at the elephant in the room and THINK about it, with the aid of some fine experts and a great documentary.

It Isn’t JUST Target…

We’re hearing rumblings in the news about the problems Target is having with their company performance.  Seems like they are circling the bowl.  You can feel this angst when you go into their stores, which have fallen off the rails as their stock tumbles too.  Once upon a time, Target stores were clean, employees were engaged and happy; it was a great place to shop.  Now it’s like walking into the place where a fight just broke up.  You can feel the difference.  Then  there’s Amazon, and disgruntled employees, helping to nail the coffin lid.  In a way, there’s a bit of poetic justice happening here, because many of these department stores deserve what they are getting and most of their employees would agree.

First of all, employees, even supervisors, are paid embarrassing wages, but are pushed like pack mules to meet so-called “stretch” goals.  Well, in the corporate world, stretch goals make sense, because they are within reach with the right resources and motivation; but these “stretch” goals in retail seem to be deliberately set at a level ridiculously impossible…impossible… to reach, largely because the people setting them don’t know how to manage effectively and don’t know what a stretch goal actually is.  Instead they have one ‘public’ stretch goal and one wink wink goal that’s the REAL goal just for the managers, after the employees are jerked around and bullied when everyone knows the goal is not possible to reach.  What you get as a result is a bunch of otherwise good employees who know their managers are full of it AND dishonest, and who give up. And after all, what IS the point?  I have seem people pushed to tears to try to meet impossible goals, and I have seen employees torn apart because they needed surgery or had to be out for serious reasons.  Terrible.

The idea of terrorizing your workforce into excellent performance only works in North Korea.  In AMERICA, it’s not rocket science to understand that if you are going to pay a pittance and call it a wage, you need to make employees happy.  In the words of Jack Welch, “Reward them early and often”.  He also said you get RID of deadwood.  You do that because it is BAD BUSINESS to hire slugs and pay them the same wage as the stallions who are making things happen.  Duh.  But retail stores do that all the time!  They hang on to people who won’t work and make everyone else work harder. That’s one huge morale buster.  And bad morale is NOT undetectable by shoppers.

Stores like Target need to HIRE better.  I have heard it said a hundred times, “This was all we had to choose from”.  Bull.  If you don’t have good candidates, don’t hire anybody.  KEEP LOOKING.  Yes, the disgusting wage is the FIRST problem, but there are people who actually WANT to work looking for jobs.  Hire them.  If stores aren’t getting them in the applicant pool, fire the ad guys and hire some who can attract the kind of workers they need.  This is not rocket science.  And seriously, seven bucks an hour?  What do they expect?

While we are taking about hiring, it’s a BAD idea to promote people into management because just they are young girls with long blonde hair.  And it’s a BAD idea to force older employees out.  Those are types of discrimination. Agism, among other types of discrimination, is against the law…and Target paid a LOT of money for discriminatory hiring and workforce practices, according the news.  I have been amazed to see older employees at MY Target (where I rarely go), and by the way, that workforce now looks like ME…another ‘DUH” good idea.  It is IMPERATIVE to have a diverse workforce!  Get this:  Young employees are not going to stick around.  Don’t believe me?  Do the stats if you even know how, managers.  And they are particularly not going to stick around if they are bullied and terrorized, unless they are bullies.  Young people typically use retail as a stepping stone to BETTER jobs.  So if you want to keep your trained employees, how about this?  Make them happy!  Think different.  Steve Jobs said that.

Making employees happy doesn’t mean giving them control of the store; it means figure out what would be a good reward and then distribute that reward FAIRLY, for actual great performance, NOT to favorite buddies.  Retail is a lot like junior high school, really, and that needs to stop. It’s a serious business and it’s in trouble everywhere.  Time to grow up.

Here’s an idea:  HIRE MANAGERS  who actually HAVE management training.  I am not talking about somebody who hung in there long enough that it’s just time to promote them.  Just because someone worked in the store for ten years does not make them worthy of a management position.  And giving someone a management position just so they won’t get MAD is just plain stupid.  I’ve witnessed bullying, harassment, temper tantrums, downright meanness, fear of discipling slugs who work harder AVOIDING work than actually working (and taking it out on the ones who do work).  I’ve seen managers who are afraid of creative thinking, managers who are abusive to employees, managers who got the job because they were cute, or gosh, they’ve been here for twenty years so they MUST be a great manager.  And then they get busted for stealing.  No wonder they are in trouble.  The successful businesses are run like businesses, not like junior high school.

I have watched “managers” make themselves sick over a “plan-o-gram” and completely miss the sales numbers which show that the “plan” isn’t working.  Listen, it doesn’t do any good to impress a team of district ‘managers’ if the store is dying.  A good looking corpse is still a corpse, and eventually, that corpse store starts giving up and just accepting death.  That’s when you walk in, take a look around and just leave…and order online.  I did that at Belk recently.  It just wasn’t worth slogging through the disaster to find anything.  I took one look around and left.  I knew some “manager’s” head was getting fitted for the chopping block.  Think about it.  Costco is a warehouse and it’s booming.  It’s not pretty, but by golly they are selling…and their employees are happy, the store is neat and clean, and you can’t find a place to park in the parking lot.   Why?  They  pay a decent wage, they provide good benefits and they get GOOD people to work there.  Clearly the most important thing his not which shirt hangs on the front rack.  It’s amusing to see the failing stores break every management 101 rule and try to whip and bully employees into success.  It is actually almost fun to watch.

Next:  Retail will beat the crap out of you.  You work HARD in retail if you are not a store manager.  So, managers should try to be flexible with the schedule, since the store pays in PENNIES and in fact, time off might be a great reward.  Find out what schedule people WANT to work and try to accommodate that.  If you have some, ANY creativity, you could make that work.   If it takes  a manger a day to ‘do the schedule’, then there’s a PROBLEM with how schedules get done!  NOT rocket science.  TRY ANOTHER WAY.  No, retail is a think in the tiny little box world and that is one reason they will fail.

Finally,  employees should have the right to deck any manager who takes out his or her bad morning on the employees the minute they walk in the door.  It seems to be acceptable…and I say it’s because these people have zip management training…to treat people worse than I’ve seen anyone treated.  Workplace harassment is also against the law.  Good to know, “managers”.

Target needs to raise their wage, diversify the workforce, make it possible for employees to give valid feedback about what’s happening out there…and listen.   Do you think when they do their “surveys” and ask your age, gender and ethnicity, they don’t know exactly whom you are?  Retail deliberately skew their “valued feedback” by subtle bullying in their supposedly anonymous, MANDATORY, surveys.  If you are a ship captain, do you WANT to know if your ship is leaking, or do you want to be worshipped?  Don’t answer that. I already know.

The only thing department stores have to do to survive is to make shoppers WANT to go to their store.  Shoppers want to FEEL good when they go to the store; and make no mistake about it, unhappy workers change the FEELING.  Pay them, get rid of bully managers, stop the rah rah sis boom bah meetings and treat employees with dignity and respect instead.  Hire good workers; fire the slugs.  Reward the good employees, and by the way, a nickel more an hour is NOT a reward; it’s an insult.

I shopped at Home Depot the other day, and a young man came to my line with a scanner and a stack of cards.  He scanned my purchase item while the person ahead checked out, and by the time I got to the register, all the check out person had to do was scan my card. Meanwhile the POLITE young man was scanning the stuff of other shoppers in line and giving them cards.  He was engaging, happy, actually treated the customers like he was happy to see us.   Now that makes me want to go back.  See?  Simple.

Post Cord-Cutting

Remember when I told you I got Roku?  Well I never even look at that now.  It’s all antenna TV, Netflix and Amazon…and Netflix is close to the chopping block.  We really are like a bunch of mules on the cart path you know.  Somewhere along the line, cable companies convinced us that we NEEDED their TV services so they could gouge us financially.  Well I’m here to tell you, the weaning process works.  There are a lot of other, better things to do than watch cable TV…which equals COMMERCIALS!

I’ll tell you wha’t I’m enjoying on Netflix and Amazon:  British tv.  I’m getting to know some of the wonderful actors and even have some favorites that I hate waiting for the next season to post.  Check it out.  If you like Idris Alba, I found him a long time ago on Brit TV and fell in love with him as Luther.

Life without cable TV?  EXCELLENT still.

The Amazing Antenna

Every once in a while I amuse myself.  You guys know I cut the cord a while back, and that I’ve been learning to juggle the Roku box I got instead.  Now I like Roku just fine and I can set it up to scroll through past news segments, but getting real-time news was a head scratcher.  I found that I missed being able to watch live, local news on TV and I missed weather reports, particularly when we had a storm system bearing down on us.

So I got Sling TV.  Not really impressed.  I find that it’s not well organized for my taste, too cumbersom to navigate through, to me.  I’m just not in love with it. I aim high.  I’m not going to keep Sling TV  because I got this great gadget called an antenna!  It’s called SLIVR and it comes with a booster, which I am sure you need.  Easy to hook up, good for receiving signals from within a 55 mile radius.  RADIUS.  That’s a long way.  And, there’s an app (oh big surprise) for finding all of the broadcast towers WITHIN that 55 mile radius, so you know which way to aim the antenna.  Well why not.  And you can effect the channels you receive by which way you aim the antenna.  Only one direction picks up QVC so guess which way I turn it.

Installation instructions looked too easy, which immediately made me suspicious because I didn’t need an allen wrench or washers or pegs, like most self-builds do. But it really was that easy.  Boom!  Local TV.  Clear as a bell.  AND…there’s a channel that broadcasts a TON of the really old shows, like Lariat, Wagon Train, Bewitched, F-Troop, a channel that’s all crime shows. Heaven, really.  OH, and also weather and news, which was the whole point to begin with.  I got mine hooked up just in time for “the great blizzard of 2017” (one inch ice/one inch snow).  I know.

Now the ‘amusing’ part.  I was telling someone how great this antenna is, and it’s FREE to watch these channels.  I’m not even sure how many there are but it’s more than three.  You get where I’m going with this.  While I was talking about how I LOVE my antenna, I had to stop and laugh.  Yeah, antenna, like EVERYONE used before the advent of cable, those wretched grinches.  So yeah, antenna use is nothing new; it’s just coming around again.  And of course I HIGHLY recommend it.  Amusing, isn’t it, that we completely forgot about antennae, that there were free broadcasts out there?  I feel like a mule on the cart path, really. I’ve been duped!

But now, I get to watch commercials again (nothing is perfect) and above all I get the Bosley Hair Replacement commercials. How did I live without THEM?  If I hear “This is MY hair, I can wash this hair” one more time I’m going to scream.  You guys know:  I scream at my TV all the time.  But NOW I scream at NO CHARGE.  Life is good.

So I think the best combo is just Netflix, Amazon (apps on smart TVs) and an antenna.  Boom.  Drop the remote.

Cutting the Cord, tee hee hee

News is hitting the investment platforms, finally, admitting that cable is hemorrhaging customers and the stock is starting to roll down the hill.  By this time next year they can post a counter.  And I have to say I’m glad about it.  I don’t own the stock, and wouldn’t on principle.

Some radio show hosts call cell phone customer service providers “customere no service”, but that really should apply to cable companies.  Think about it.  If you are brave enough or unfortunate enough to go TO the brick and mortar shop, you get to take a number and wait an hour, while six to eight employees take turns offering three service providers to the crowd.  It would be nice if all eight of them would get it in gear, but until NOW, they haven’t had to.  You and I know they are slow dancing in a burning room, but they still saunter around and enjoy building a frustrated backlog of trapped customers.  This tells me the ‘customer servants’ can’t see the writing on the wall, or can’t read it, not sure which.

I felt SO GOOD the day I canceled my cable service, and while I was at it I fired their internet service too.  Icing on the cake.  Why?  Oh.  Glad you asked.

Once about 8 months ago I called to cancel cable because they were raping me on the cost AND they were charging that ridiculous amount to show me COMMERCIALS.  When I called  to fire them they asked, “So, why do you want to cancel your cable?”

I replied, “Because I am not going to pay to watch commercials.”

Now, I had some time and I knew they would do the shuffle to reel me back in, and I was curious how that would go.  So, smiling, I went along for the ride.  By the time she was finished, she had RAISED my already unacceptable bill by THIRTY DOLLARS.  So I said, “Hmmm.  Does that actually work with people who are calling to fire you?”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

I said, “People want to cancel because the bill is too high, so you RAISE the cost and they actually agree? Does that really WORK?”

She got very quiet.  Until she started typing again to try to make me happy watching commercials for a lower price.  Well she gave me some free movie channels and lowered my bill, so I stayed a while.  But when the free stuff ran out?  The bill was AMAZINGLY high.  In other words, they made up for free stuff in a big way…or thought they would.  I am not stupid and neither, as it turns out, are more and more customers.

So I fired them.

Here’s the deal.  Cable companies have raped their clients for years and they got away with that AND horrible customer service because they could.  Then when Hulu, Netflix and Youtube came on the scene they thought they could stick it to us again by hiring FRIENDLY people to rape us.  Once upon a time, that would have worked.  But NOW…we have other options.  Lots of them.

So cable is one market segment, the demise of which I plan to watch while I kick back, prop up my feet, pour a glass of red wine and celebrate.  I’ll be smiling, thinking about the jerks sweating bullets and scrambling to make it…you know, like we CUSTOMERS have done for years.  Only, I could turn in my cable equipment; they can’t turn in their mansions.

Good riddance cable.  Won’t miss you at all.  Oh and you other guys?  The replacements?  Learn something.  Because some of us have gotten used to no TV at ALL much of the time.  Tick tock.