News is hitting the investment platforms, finally, admitting that cable is hemorrhaging customers and the stock is starting to roll down the hill.  By this time next year they can post a counter.  And I have to say I’m glad about it.  I don’t own the stock, and wouldn’t on principle.

Some radio show hosts call cell phone customer service providers “customere no service”, but that really should apply to cable companies.  Think about it.  If you are brave enough or unfortunate enough to go TO the brick and mortar shop, you get to take a number and wait an hour, while six to eight employees take turns offering three service providers to the crowd.  It would be nice if all eight of them would get it in gear, but until NOW, they haven’t had to.  You and I know they are slow dancing in a burning room, but they still saunter around and enjoy building a frustrated backlog of trapped customers.  This tells me the ‘customer servants’ can’t see the writing on the wall, or can’t read it, not sure which.

I felt SO GOOD the day I canceled my cable service, and while I was at it I fired their internet service too.  Icing on the cake.  Why?  Oh.  Glad you asked.

Once about 8 months ago I called to cancel cable because they were raping me on the cost AND they were charging that ridiculous amount to show me COMMERCIALS.  When I called  to fire them they asked, “So, why do you want to cancel your cable?”

I replied, “Because I am not going to pay to watch commercials.”

Now, I had some time and I knew they would do the shuffle to reel me back in, and I was curious how that would go.  So, smiling, I went along for the ride.  By the time she was finished, she had RAISED my already unacceptable bill by THIRTY DOLLARS.  So I said, “Hmmm.  Does that actually work with people who are calling to fire you?”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

I said, “People want to cancel because the bill is too high, so you RAISE the cost and they actually agree? Does that really WORK?”

She got very quiet.  Until she started typing again to try to make me happy watching commercials for a lower price.  Well she gave me some free movie channels and lowered my bill, so I stayed a while.  But when the free stuff ran out?  The bill was AMAZINGLY high.  In other words, they made up for free stuff in a big way…or thought they would.  I am not stupid and neither, as it turns out, are more and more customers.

So I fired them.

Here’s the deal.  Cable companies have raped their clients for years and they got away with that AND horrible customer service because they could.  Then when Hulu, Netflix and Youtube came on the scene they thought they could stick it to us again by hiring FRIENDLY people to rape us.  Once upon a time, that would have worked.  But NOW…we have other options.  Lots of them.

So cable is one market segment, the demise of which I plan to watch while I kick back, prop up my feet, pour a glass of red wine and celebrate.  I’ll be smiling, thinking about the jerks sweating bullets and scrambling to make it…you know, like we CUSTOMERS have done for years.  Only, I could turn in my cable equipment; they can’t turn in their mansions.

Good riddance cable.  Won’t miss you at all.  Oh and you other guys?  The replacements?  Learn something.  Because some of us have gotten used to no TV at ALL much of the time.  Tick tock.