I came within a few steps…literally…of being selected to serve on a death penalty case jury. I thought the idea was fascinating and something I’d be good at…until I saw the defendant.  He had stabbed his wife to death with their three month old child in close proximity…and I couldn’t take my eyes off of his hands.  They were pale and feminine, not the sort of hands you’d expect to be murderous at all.  But they were.  It wasn’t contested whether or not he killed his wife, only what his punishment should be.  And there I was, fifteen feet away from this man, potentially about to be selected to determine his fate.   I felt physically ill.  Before that time, I was absolutely in favor of the death penalty…but when it came time to put up or shut up, I realized I could never be the one to call for another’s death. Not at the time.  I was younger then.

I looked at the Travis Alexander autopsy photos online.  If you haven’t seen them, don’t.  They are too disturbing and the act of violence they portray slithers into your gut and your phyche and you’ll feel nauseated and you won’t sleep. And you’ll feel very, very sad…not only about poor Travis, but also about our society in general.   What comes forth is that this poor man suffered tremendous violence and pain…and he fought to live.  His wounds show that.  His last moments alive were filled with the sort of terror no human being should have to experience, particularly not if you’re someone like Travis apparently was.  I have such a palatable sense of loss without him in the world.  We NEED more people like him.

Travis filled his life with service, apparently, and according to his journal entry…one of the last…he intended to make this year the most giving of all.  I think he might have pulled it off. If he hadn’t encountered the bloodsucker.  The one named Jodi.

Here’s the thing.  He got himself tied up with a person who was charming, manipulative, and used to not only getting her way but also never having taken responsibility for any wrongs in her life.  People like that, especially ones diagnosed as having bipolar disorder, can be very charming, and they get through life by being manipulative, ingratiating, and…here’s the important part…attaching themselves to people who are NOT that way. They seek out honest, hardworking, giving people and particularly ones who tend to be very calm and focused about their life.  They are parasites, ultimately, and when they think they are either losing their host OR not getting their way about something important to them (it’s always ALL AND ONLY about them)…they can explode, and they do.  I’ve seen it happen up close and personally.

Jodi described Travis as being a very calm person.  Now…if someone asked you to describe your lover, would ‘calm’ be one of the first things you said?  NO!  You’d say cute, or funny or smart.  Not ‘calm’.  So here’s my theory.  I know, through testimony, that Travis was ending the relationship.  I think Jodi tried to manipulate him, even sexually the day of his murder, and it wasn’t working.  My guess is that he was very calm and deliberate in letting her know that her manipulations weren’t working and weren’t GOING to.  And she lost it.  I think, like all of her type, she is EXTREMELY vindictive, and she threw everything she had in to making him pay for not giving her her way.

People say she must have been abused as a child.  I call bull on that.  It think she was spoiled ROTTEN, always got her way, always thought she was adorable and that EVERYTHING she did was wonderful.  People like that never learn to take responsibilty for things going sideways, because the adults in their life never let them SEE that.  Mommy or Daddy usually make their lives perfect and when it’s time to grow up, they don’t…they just find another ‘mommy’ or ‘daddy’ to make their lives perfect AND to take the blame for all bad things. The person closest to one of these animals gets to bear the weight of the world.  It’s true.  And it’s terrible.  I’m guessing Jodi’s mommy was the ‘good’ parent and Jodi’s daddy was ‘the bad parent’…and I bet mommy worked against daddy a lot.  You haven’t seen daddy around much, have you?

Jodi never expected to be found guilty, and her smug demeanor throughout the trial showed that.  She was used to using people, manipulating people, getting her way.  Now that she knows this ain’t California baby, she has a whole new demeanor.  But she’s still acting. I couldn’t help but wonder whether her face muscles hurt at the end of the day from holding the ‘sad’ face during the victim impact statements.  Another manipulation.  Listen, I can PROMISE you she views HERSELF as the victim.  I lived with one of these types.  For a long time.  I recognize the animal.  She feels victimized.  Even though she brutalized Travis, butchered the man.

So now…not only would I vote in FAVOR of the death penalty for Jodi, I’d push the button.  People like her suck the life out of anybody stupid enough to fall for their manipulations…and we fall for them because we view the world as good, as WE are good, because we are trusting and we want to serve.  We end up being nothing more than a host for the parasite, a platform from which they can spring their insanity, and the person to whom they point the blame when things don’t work out…and they NEVER work out for these people because they eventually, always show their true colors…and they get caught.   It’s important to not only realize there are a LOT of Jodi’s out there, bad people who WILL kill if they feel the need to, people whose reality isn’t ‘normal’.  It’s their own reality with them at the center…because they never grow up.

As long as the Jodi’s of the world don’t commit brutal murder, we can deal with them.  Some of us have done it and some are doing it now.  In this case, however, I say death is the only answer.  She will do this again, given the right circumstances.  Of that I have NO doubt.

Oh, and here’s something else VERY important:  Jodi tried her level best to make this all Travis’s fault.  She tried her BEST to make him out to be a monster.  Yeah, I’ve had that happen to me too.  It rarely works…because the parasite’s true colors always come through…It’s the only gratification the normal people have: the truth comes out.