I hardly visit my small garden without pruning shears of some kind in hand. I don’t know the standard names for all of them; I just know some need to be tough and some need to be easy on the plants. This morning and most mornings these days I use the ones I call snippers. They are good for deadheading and for threatening plants back into the footprint I allow them to occupy.
My sister calls me the impatient gardener, laughingly, because I’m always ridding the garden of shriveled leaves, dying flowers, wayward branches; you get the drift. I realize that the real gardeners have the vapors when I talk about pruning at the ‘wrong time’; but I find that my plants love to be pruned. They always respond well, and maybe it is because I love them and it is important to me that they be healthy and lovely. And yes, I have sacrificed annual blooms for the sake of a healthy plant. That’s okay; they come back stronger and happier.
The garden behind my townhouse is tiny. I fenced in the yard and promptly built raised beds all around. Each year for the first several, I widened the beds farther into the grassy area, hoping to have many flowers, few grass blades. It worked. In the center of my tiny grassy spot I have an 8 foot tall maple tree in a pot. I grew the tree from a twig, pruning it into what I call a Japanese shape, as it grew. It is taller than me now, so I’ll need a different strategy going forward. When it gets too big, I will donate it and start over. I guess I’m fostering the tree.
I prune away branches growing inside and across other branches, in part for the health of the tree and in part to keep it from becoming a sail…thus tipping over, pot and all. This tree came into my garden because I needed to shade part of the garden from the harsh afternoon sun. So it does double duty: It is beautiful and gives me joy, and it shades the plants that used to suffer because there was no shade to protect them.
Because my little garden is tiny, I can keep it weeded and mulched, and it is easy to deadhead the flowers. Nearly every square inch of space is occupied by a beautiful plant of some kind. I had a hellebore binge, a conifer binge; I have irises, lilies, peonies, calla and canna lilies, asiatic lilies, ferns, roses, hostas, gardenias, geraniums, hydrangeas, elephant ears, bear breeches, alliums, vinca, verbena, cone flowers, begonias, to name just a few. Yes, there are many more. I plant petunias, pansies and vinca seasonally with the intention to have color all season long. My conifers are dwarf or exceptionally slow growing, to save space. And I use a lot of vertical space too, so I have pots on columns, on the ground, in plant stands. I watched a young man with a garden smaller than mine, growing only green plants of different shades and textures and it was lovely. That sent me off on another tangent I’m glad I explored. I planted a cryptomeria during that phase, because of its texture.
The thing is, you never learn all there is to know about gardening. New hybrids come forth each year, changing everything you thought you knew, and creating excitement among us gardeners. There’s a brand new boxwood this year, did you know? Probably not available to mere mortals like me, but it will be all the rage, I’m sure.
The nice thing about gardening is that you go a long time before you age out of it. The only hard part for me is lugging in all of the pots for winter. I used to have no problems with that, but now, it’s a chore. Has to be done, though, because the plants can’t move themselves and I want them to live out the winter on the enclosed porch.
This season I’ve planted Kentucky Wonder beans on my arbor, to entertwine with the honeysuckle already there. I’ll be able to pick beans under the arbor, smelling sweet honeysuckle, in a couple of months and I can’t wait. Squash adds nice foliage to a flower bed, too, and you have the benefit of a yummy vegetable along the way. My sister says my beds are “Jurassic Park” beds because my plants leap out of the ground and vegetable plants go crazy. It’s all about soil amendment, really. Once you get it right, gardening is easy. Most of the time.
A well tended garden adds value to your life and to your property. Nothing looks sadder to me than a beautiful home left bare of plantings. If you don’t know how to grow plants, my guess is that someone like me would love to landscape your home…you pay for the plants of course. Because. Gardeners are addicts. Don’t say I told you.
I’m Brenda. I’m a real estate agent and I help folks buy and sell homes with my company, The Premier Advantage Realty. You can find me online at http://www.thepremieradvantage.com.
I’ll bet you thought I was going to tell you to Take A Class, or Mail Out Postcards, or Beef Up Your Social Media Presence….didn’t ya? HA! Fooled you again. Here’s what you do first: Examine yourself. Ouch! That might hurt some folks. Still true.
Hey, Socrates said the unexamined life is not worth living. And yeah, that’s a bit harsh, but I’m guessing he was surrounded by narcissists and psychopaths. I feel his pain if that was true. Those types can definitely make you feel that way. And they’ll make terrible real estate agents, but they’ll be great owners and managers. That’s statistically proven. Apparently many CEOs are psychopaths or have psychopathic tendencies (what’s the freaking difference at the end of the day, is my question). Probably why I’m not a psychiatrist. And can I just say? I agree with Socrates. Self examination is the easiest thing you can do. DOING something about the things you find is the hard part. Acknowledging that you have things to fix is important. If you don’t find any, you’re a narcissist. Don’t go into real estate.
I have probably said this before, but real estate agency is about RE-LA-TION-SHIPS. Relationships, for the slower brains. Listen, it doesn’t matter how many classes you take; if you’re an ass, you’re going to fail. Why? Because you will not make connections. Connections; that’s the key. If you make good connections, real ones, the client will come back later and bring their friends.
But here’s the key: Learn to stop chasing the almighty dollar and LISTEN to your client and CARE about what they want and need. Real estate is a service business. Service. All of my clients can spot moneymongers a mile away. And then they call me. I actually care about my clients and guess what, if I cannot care, I don’t work with them. Why?
Because I cannot be a good real estate agent if I can’t connect. My clients very often become close friends, similar to family in some cases. It never fails that several of my clients invite me to their holiday dinners! Touches my soul, I’ll tell you. Such a compliment. But my clients know they are heard, that it is THEIR needs at the forefront, not mine. Take off the hardhat, put down the clipboard and cattle prod, put down your CALCULATOR, and listen to your clients.
How do you examine yourself? Well…let’s start with coping. How do you cope with stress? What are your coping mechanisms? In real estate, you’re going to have to cope yourself, and also help your clients cope. This is a stressful business. If you end up in some kind of conflict with ever single real estate transaction, then the common denominator is…wait for it…YOU! Figure out what you do, every single time, that upsets your clients so much that sometimes they just outright fire you. You need to do this; you need to know it and you need to FIX IT. Meaning fix YOU, not them. I you’re a narcissist you’ll blame it on them and ultimately you will fail at being a real estate agent. There are no secrets in real estate; it’ll get around the your are a tasmanian devil.
If your modus operandi is to start pushing your clients to do things your way, you are wrong wrong wrong. You work for them. NOT the other way around. Show some respect, get to know their fears and stressors and try to HELP them. If you can’t do that, you are in the WRONG business.
Notice I’m not talking about logistics. New agents have to learn the ropes, post classes. The real world is not what you learn in class. The PEOPLE part isn’t taught because it’s complicated. I’m not sure why people rush to be real estate agents, because many fail at it, but if it’s all about money…too bad. There’s more to it than that. You need to know yourself, and learn to read people. It helps to study age cohort influence on behavior. That is golden. It will help you a LOT if you actually study it.
Let’ talk about social media. First LinkedIn has become an ad spot. So I ignore it now. People do not shop for homes on Facebook; are you kidding me? If someone wants to connect with me it’s for the sole purpose of loading my inbox with ads. Nope, not gonna happen. You can tell people you are a real estate agent and they will promptly ignore you. There are tens of thousands of such messages out there. Post cards? What do you do with the ones YOU get? I toss them, ESPECIALLY the narcissistic huge ones. Those go in the bin first. Pop-bys? That’s a 20 year old concept. Doesn’t work. MAKE CONNECTIONS, PEOPLE. And THEN give a gift if you like.
By the way, I said social media is not effective; I did not say the internet isn’t. MOST clients go online. I’m going to say 99%. So definitely have a website, and please, remember it is for business, not tictok, not Onlyfans, not look at me look at me. Be a professional, a leader…but only if you want actual clients. No way I’m hiring you if you’re probably going to hit on my spouse. There, I said it. And some people are not impressed by expensive, matching handbags and shoes. They’re gonna imagine themselves not being able to afford those things and giving their money to YOU so YOU can afford them. See how this works?
And listen, the minute I figure out I’m a JOB to you, or I’m on your checklist? You’re out. In other words, be genuine. Does this take time? Yes. News flash: You’re going to have to put in the work. Don’t treat clients like homework. They will know.
Wanna chat about this? I’m with Coldwell Banker Advantage at 919-210-6113.
We live in an age of DON’T YOU DARE STEREOTYPE. In case you were wondering. But somehow picking on older people is okay? No, it is not.
It seems baby boomers have been discovered by a new generation, one who never knew anything about boomers until now and hey, we need a new group to bash. Plus, the name is kinda cool, because creativity was alive in the age of the boomers. Younger buyers have a letter. But let’s say it, let’s make fun, let’s attack, let’s act like all boomers are 90 years old and have no value. That’s stereotyping and it’s also wrong.
I just saw a headline about ‘younger buyers’ wanting baby boomers to redecorate. Deep breath. Calming down. Don’t tell other people to redecorate. You’re not shopping DECOR. Your agent should tell you that, unless they are inexperienced and not good at their job.
First: Younger buyers have no business telling anybody else how to decorate their home. I dare anybody to come in my house and tell me to redecorate. Wow.
Second: Who made you an interior design specialist? Stacking stuff on the floor and building a colorless, characterless home is not decorating.
Third: Do NOT dare to tell anybody how to live their cultural social existence. As long as they are not chasing you around with big old knives or shooting at you, it’s NONE of your business.
Let me clue you in on real estate wisdom, younger buyers. You are not buying decor. You are buying real estate. If you do not have the ability to look beyond some else’s decor, maybe you should wait a while before you try to buy a house, because you are shopping decorations and that’s not actually ‘home buying’. In case you were wondering.
I get it. Jewel tones and dark red paint are out out out. SO buy some PAINT. And if you don’t know how, well I just don’t know what to tell you: It’s not rocket science. I did rocket science; this ain’t it. But if you absolutely can’t do it, then ask the seller to make a concession so you can HIRE someone.
And let me also say, boomers who ARE on the front of the generation, might just tell you to kiss off, only in more colorful language. Boomers don’t whine and cry. They hit back.
You know, insulting an entire group of people out loud, in print, is wrong, unless you are God and I’m thinking you’re definitely not. Real Estate agents writing articles, I’m calling YOU out on this. Boomers might want to block all ‘younger buyers’ from viewing their homes. And it is your job to encourage your buyers to ‘look at the bones’. And if they like the house, for God’s sake, don’t insult the sellers.
This is the most important bit of information: EVERY generation of sellers AND buyers has its own needs, behaviors, goals. New agents, you CANNOT treat older buyers like they are dumb and out of touch. They are nuclear physicists, doctors, attorneys, scientists. Don’t insult them; rather, learn how to RELATE to them. Insulting them should NEVER be done. Never. Chances are you can’t hold a candle to their body of work and life.
I’m incredulous about that article. Incredulous. It’s an out loud, in print sign of stupidity and lack of professionalism.
I’m pretty sure we can all agree that politeness is harder to come by as each day passes. And every business is morphing into a different character, trying to adjust to constantly changing social landscape. But here’s one thing that should not change.
When you are allowed to enter the home of a stranger to walk your buyer clients through, to test cabinet spaces and check out closet size and configuration, peek into the crawl space, walk the property…the very least you can do is send feedback to the agent who lists this property for sale for these seller clients. After all, they have just let you stroll around their home.
You are doing a good thing for your buyers, and you are also getting paid. And you are also in the business with the listing agent who needs your feedback. Realize that these sellers want to know your opinion of the home because they may be able to make changes to make the home more appealing.
And if you ignore your obligation to provide feedback, you create more work for the listing agent, who now has to track you down, has to inform their seller clients that you didn’t provide feedback, just more annoying time sucking activities that would not be necessary if you, buyer agent, would do your job.
And it is the polite thing to do regardless.
Your friendly reminder from Brenda Briggs, Coldwell Banker Advantage. Find me online and by the way, I will let you know what my clients thought of your home if I am in buyer agency. That’s a promise.
Have you thought about the “New World Order” and what that means? Ever given that a second’s thought? Do you think it’s global hugging and loving? Think again.
A (New) World Order sounds refreshing and light, doesn’t it? Not old, not grandpa’s way (even though it is grandpa talking it up). New. Young. Better. Okay, but what about this? Out with the old…but wait, it is the ‘old’ who are chirping about this as they shuffle about and drool while counting their money and eyeing ours. Nah, this tale can’t work at all.
How about (New World) Order. That one scares me. One world, a new world, all together, all individual cultures erased, all religions erased, anything divisive erased. Melded, unified, without borders, boundaries. Gotta get rid of Christianity and Judaism and Islam. How can that even HAPPEN? Well that gets its own chapter for sure.
In ORDER. Order from where? Well from the ones pushing this NEW WORLD notion. But wait, they are old. But they must be the only ones who have great ideas. But they don’t talk to the people, they think people are dirty and deplorable. And nobody knows whom they are. They are invisible, above the clouds. Nobody would follow the agenda of invisible rich people, right?? Rats, I need to edit the story.
Okay let’s get the focus on one thing: climate. Everybody looking up? Okay now divide and conquer. Hurry! Sounds like a good plan, get ’em while they are distracted. Maybe throw some cash at them while we’re at it. Everybody knows the love of money is the root of all evil. Let’s do it. The story is getting interesting!
Divide. Good plan, but how? Race, gender, religion, the biggies. Get a few large mouths to start the angst, then sit back and wait for it to run its course. But what do we do while we wait? Well we could make rules to get people in line, obedient! Afraid! Yeah, fear is a great idea!
But wait, individual cultures have value and beauty. And as for religion, people like to choose. There is grandness and beauty in diversity! Oh it will be hard to get people to give up their individuality. But if they hate one another, they will take care of that issue FOR us. But how will this fit into the tale?
The notion of a New World, without nations, without divisions, without cultures…will take eternity. Look at Muslims and Jews. That’s been going on for centuries. How will those people ever mesh? Well, only if they are no longer allowed to practice their individual religions, of course. What do you think the plan will be to solve that problem? That’s a question worth pondering. Particularly if you are either one of those groups. First I think we need to stir up the antagonism…but won’t that threaten the whole world? Gotta rethink the tale.
Let’s say everyone hugs and sings peace loving songs together. Okay. Then what? Well, the word ‘order’ comes into play, because along the way we’ve been training the masses to follow the piper. Without thinking or paying attention to the hands holding the puppets, follow. We will be good slaves, won’t we? If you live your entire existence under ‘orders’, what would that look like? No choices. Being told what to do. Like, oh I don’t know, slavery. Hmmm, that’s been done before and it was terrible. But it hasn’t been done on a WORLD scale, right? Will it fit into the tale in this ‘new’ way?
But first the right to bear arms has to go because we can’t have the herds fighting back, now can we? How? Encourage criminality, because it is true that humans are not basically ‘good’. Don’t punish crime and while you are at it, defund and dehumanize police. Utterly destroy the existing order. From the ‘inside’, destroy the system. Oh that’s not a new concept; ask Saul Alinsky and anyone who studied under him or admired his ‘activism’. That might be important to the tale.
Once crime takes over, time to institute military control, the ultimate ORDER. But it has to be military controlled by a leader, the one giving orders. Oh I know, a military wearing all black and wearing arm bands? Ones willing to eliminate competition of ones insisting on being their own culture? Anyone who has something the ‘leader’ wants? Like that? That could make the story work. But…has that happened already? I think it has. And that didn’t go well either, did it? Maybe this tale isn’t a good idea.
And all of the ones screaming and protesting, burning and looting along the way? Well they won’t fit into a sweet, melded and unified society. Hmmm. Where will the fit in? Oh they won’t. Another story problem.
Now…all of the elites authoring this story, this NEW WORLD order let’s think. Only one gets to be the leader of the NEW WORLD order. Uh oh. OH no. Hmmm. How do we write THAT chapter to finish this fictional tale? I don’t know. That part has not begun to unfold. But I encourage you to write this chapter. Look around, check out the changing landscape, and write that last fictional chapter.
My followers know I am always thinking about something deeper than what is on the surface. I live in the depths where the interesting information lives. I’ve also become a fan of the true crime genre, which opens a whole new world to contemplate, most obviously, the truth about a large part of humanity that I’ve long suspected existed among us anyway.
I’ve been going to church almost all of my life. I believe I started at the age of 9, being dropped off for Vacation Bible School, aka, free childcare. Aside from being the first opportunity for me to overcome my excruciating shyness at that time, VBS gave me a chance to meet Jesus and the others. Hmmm, this Jesus guy seems like someone I’ve sung about before. Oh yeah, Jesus Loves Me, This I Know… Well we can talk about religion another time. I will just say religion is not the same as God; religion, ALL religions, are man-created. And if you are inclined to blow a gasket because of that sentence, think about it first. But Jesus: This guy, stuck in my mind. He kept coming back from the depths of my psyche and tapping on my door. But back to the topic.
I used to believe people were basically good. Basically trustworthy. Ha. I guess I didn’t actually read the Bible closely then. The Bible clearly states that humans are sinful creatures. We are ‘wretched sinners’, in fact. What?!? Welllll I found that a bit harsh…until I looked around me. Most people are NOT basically good. People, as it turns out, are MOSTLY not ‘basically good’. A LOT of us will get away with exactly as much as we can get away with. We the people will lie, steal, kill, misrepresent, leach off of others, brutalize others, attach as parasites to a host, BE a host (me), overestimate others, UNDERestimate others, have sympathy, not know the meaning of the word sympathy, even empathy, tell little white lies, big old gooey ones, and on and on. It’s complicated, in other words. Learning about this stuff is a long, actually never-ending, process.
First, I thought about left versus right brain dominance. Oh that explains it, right? No. It doesn’t. It’s one part of a 1000 piece puzzle. But you don’t KNOW that until later on in the learning process. Still, if you are left brain dominant, as I am, you go for data, facts, truth, you analyze. And I’m going to venture to say most of US (the left brainers) can keep emotions to a minimum. We’re not robots, we do have emotions but we don’t have to broadcast them! As such, VERY often, people think we are ‘fine’ because we don’t hop around in a circle and wail when things go sideways. No, we go deep and analyze. We line up the data, figure out what the hell happened and how do I keep this from happening again? The surface dwellers NEVER understand us because they are hopping around waving flags and wailing, sometimes having feelings that obliterate facts, and floating around in the glitter and rose petals at the surface of the pond (It’s a good life). Well, not always, but watch the news, will you? This wailing and gnashing of teeth is getting more and more prevalent…which scares the crap out of me because you cannot reason with someone who is trying to set you on fire. But back to the point: Depending on how many puzzle pieces we’ve acquired, we just might not care whether anybody gets us. Why? Because we know caring about that is a colossal waste of time. Oh here we go..
I’ve had some occasions to be screamed at lately, like, in a ROW. hahaha. What the hell is going on here. Am I diabolical? Or…do I give the impression that I can take verbal abuse? Do I LOOK like a punching bag? Where is my mirror and can it go with me into the depths? Okay I CAN take verbal abuse because I understand it and it usually doesn’t get inside me. Depending on who delivers it, it can set a drill bit into my soul, but I always thwart that effort now. I didn’t always. It’s about putting the puzzle together. For me, I know I can drive people crazy if they are not like me, and SURPRISE most people are not. But here’s the thing: When you verbally abuse someone, you say a thousand more things to that person, aside from the words you shouted. And those messages are the ones that break the bonds.
This I know: I know what I feel; I know what I say and do not say, know what I believe and do not believe. My pet peeve is when people try to tell me how I feel, what I think, what I believe or do not believe or try to talk down to me as though I am unworthy of respect. I am not better than anyone, but nobody else is better than me either. My pet peeve is when someone says to me what I said when I know what I said. If you get it wrong, you’re gonna get an argument. I know what I say. Never tell me my opinions are ‘wrong’. An opinion is an opinion, a belief is a belief, both of which I am entitled to, and by the way…a left brain dominant person doesn’t not reach a conclusion or opinion frivolously. We analyze the crap out of it. And many of us are able to say, “I don’t know.” It’s not hard. Often it is the truth.
Well, I am going to surprise you here. Ready? I am not perfect! I do stupid stuff too, just like everyone else. And (puzzle piece) I am a first-born. Psychologists say that although I have a slightly older brother, he did not assume the role of first-born in the psychological scale. I did. I was the built in babysitter, the one in ‘charge’ of cleaning the house, making sure my younger siblings didn’t play in the street, making sure my older brother didn’t burn something down, doing laundry along the way…that stuff. First born.
As such, being born into the unit I was born into, I had no guidance, nobody to copy. So I found my way with my hands outstretched, feeling around in the nebulous and moving forward until I either hit a wall or fell off a cliff. That’s ANOTHER thing. Parents, give your first born children some guidance, will you? Like hey, there’s a wall really close to you or WATCH OUT FOR THAT CLIFF! I didn’t have that. I had parents who were largely unconnected but they did carry a big hammer for punishment for the two firstborns. I temper that by adding in that I didn’t shout and wail when I was hurt or confused so they may have thought I was just fine.
But my M.O. was to move by trial and error, although now I am able to suss out the environment pretty well most of the time. Glad I’m learning all of this complicated crap, just in time to kick the bucket. By the way, I will leave the mortal coil not having completed this puzzle. Humans don’t have the capacity to finish it, Garden of Eden notwithstanding. If you THINK you have all of the answers, wow, you are probably a narcissist. Why? Because the more you actually learn, the more you realize you don’t know. Even Einstein said that. Moving on.
Back to true crime: If you delve into this genre, you will be introduced to psychopaths, narcissists, malignant psychopaths, malignant psychopaths with narcissistic tendencies, and all of the infinite combinations therein. You will be introduced to people who do horrific things because mommy didn’t love me or mommy loved me too much. Or you were allergic to formula when you were a baby or you were breast fed. Or you never got to go to Disney (a blessing in my mind). So now you look around with wide eyes thinking you are surrounded by weirdos. hahaha. Just picture it. And shock of shocks: You’re one too! There are so many crimes that are committed by ‘the nice guy next door’ that it changes your perspective of humankind. And it should. Why? Because we have crime shows that give you step by step instructions on how to commit the perfect murder! hahaha. Never works though. Don’t do it.
I’m the kind of analyst that wants to know why. Why should be the word on my tombstone; it defines me. So when some people go off the rails, I realize they were abused as a child, or they are deeply wounded and therefore carry around a huge weight of anger JUST below the surface (hence the shouting), or they were NOT a firstborn and therefore think life is supposed to be easy, like a path cleared before you by the battered and bruised firstborns, or they were not breast fed, no Disney. Like that. So right out of the gate, I am TRYING to give abusers a pass, an excuse. That’s stupid. But listen, sometimes there’s an explanation that is true, and makes sense. There. Problem solved.
HOWEVER: There are some wounded ones who will not set down the buckets of putrid sewage they carry around in their own psyche, always planted by someone else. The first step is turning on the lights, picking up the mirror and ‘know thyself’, if you are capable. Some are not. And then you have to go to work throwing away the bad stuff forever, letting it go. If it has come to define you? Not an easy task but still possible. Once you see that a person wants to cling to their ‘disorder’ for example, just move along. You are probably not going to even be able to love them.
Anyway, I’m wired to look beyond the event to try and figure it out. The thing is I now try to weed out the tendencies I see coming my way so I don’t have to deal with them. Mostly, I succeed. But the bottom line is that every single human being on this planet is wired before they are born, and then their environment begins to trim, cut, pressure, reshape, destroy the person they were intended to be. So I try to love the person they were INTENDED to be, by God. Not always. If they have a hatchet behind their back, not so much. So it pays to know something about a person’s history. But the WIRING…you can’t change that. Now this goes back to why I don’t usually fight back or want to, nor try to mend fences, that kind of thing. If, for example, you are dealing with a malignant narcissist, say. Here’s what you get (in part).
First, they want you in their life so they can 1) get something from you; 2) use you as a step to get higher on the ladder, obviously higher than you; 3) beat somebody up and you can take it; 4) you always agree with their amazing intellect and insight (God help you if you don’t). That’s a partial list, but basically, to a personality type like that, you are a tool in their kit and by the way…once they have used you up, you’re toast. hahaha. Just remember that when they throw you away with shouting and spittle, that will be a GOOD thing, because you cannot change them, you cannot reason with them, you are done, finito, garbage in the can to them. You can either mope about it, or you can understand the system in which the event occurred and move on. And these people, I firmly believe, are the reason so many womens’ bodies are found in shallow graves. Their purpose was served. Frightening.
Oh and this is important. Watch out for RETALIATION, because that’s what malignant narcissists like. They like to hurt you, they get pleasure from it, “even if you don’t know they did it”. That quote came from a psychologist telling me about someone who liked hurting me and I was, well, clueless. I didn’t have that puzzle piece then. So if you cross a malignant narcissist, just watch for the flying tomahawks, beer bottles, you know, that kind of thing. In my case, the retaliation was financial, diabolical, and it nearly DID destroy me. But I’m still here. I’m like one of those punching bags that keeps popping back up. So far.
And there are SO many influence styles, personality types, DISORDERS, and there’s society who give you malignant messages on top of it. You become invisible after the age of 50. Once you become a senior, you are a ‘burden’ and no longer valued. If you are not oh I can’t say that word here, but basically if you are not sexual, GOODBYE. There is agism, there is racism, there is gender-ism, cast system prejudices. The love of money IS the root of all evil, more and more as time goes on. Everyone can be bought; everybody has a price. Here’s a true one: Most people are not smart enough to vote or drive. hahaha.
Then there’s intelligence. Money trumps it. Some of the dumbest people are in charge of the world because daddy had money. That’s frightening. Bill Gates got money and suddenly he is telling the whole wide world allll about viruses. Bill Gates should not be talking to anybody about viruses, or chemistry, or physics. But you get the idea. Money and intelligence are two more puzzle pieces. Don’t forget ‘disorders’.
I guess what I’m getting at here is this: Life is complicated, but it is fascinating if you pay attention, take a deep breath and dive below the surface, away from the glitter and flower petals floating there, and see the rest of the universe. I was given a bit of knowledge the other day: I have a tendency to want to maintain toxic connections. SHOCK. Why? Because of a childhood thing, related to a wait for it…narcissist. Holy cow that was a GOOD puzzle piece. And if you are someone who likes to retaliate when you get mad, go see a counselor. Or run for office. And don’t have kids.
Today’s writing prompt asks about the coolest thing I ever found and kept; so in usual fashion I’m going to tailor it to my experience and talk about the coolest thing that ever found ME that I kept. Her name is now Cinnamon Girl but she didn’t have a name when she showed up at my door.
I live in a townhouse that opens to a small grassy area, a sidewalk and the street just beyond. The street has become busier now than it was when Cinnamon showed up, and that’s an important part of the story. My living room is on the back of the house, so I walk up the hallway toward the kitchen on the front of my house many times a day. And I have a lovely glass door on the front so the regular door is usually open, exposing the glass door to let in light. One special day, there was a little tabby girl, very small kitten, just sitting and looking in. She didn’t run when she saw me; she just sat quietly, watching.
I couldn’t wait to meet her so I walked toward the door too quickly and she took her leave. Okay, she’s fearful. If she comes back, I will remember. And she came back. Next day. I went to the door slowly and sat on the floor a few feet away and just let her look at me. That was the routine for several days, with me moving ever so slightly toward the door. Early on, I put out some food for the kitten, whom I knew was ‘she’, instinctively. She wasn’t interested in getting closer than through the glass, so I talked to her that way until winter approached.
We had a terribly harsh winter that year and I feared she would freeze. So I went online to see how to help. I built her a styrofoam house on the porch, but Cinnamon’s house had a little heating pad under the blankets and extra insulation for her, and a little mouse-door entrance. I couldn’t sleep, worrying about her, because she didn’t come into her condo for several days. I know because, unable to sleep from worrying about her, throughout the night I’d get up and peek through the blinds to see if she had moved in. One morning when I checked at 1:30 (It was an icy night), I saw here little face in the doorway of her condo. Then, beside her, was her first house guest! Finally, I slept.
I named her Cinnamon Girl because she looked like a brown/gray tabby, until the sun was behind her. In that situation, her fur glowed a beautiful cinnamon color. She was no longer an ordinary girl then, she was stunning.
One day in Spring, I cracked open the glass door and reached out just my hand so she could sniff me. By that time, she had been coming every day, several times a day and staying in her condo on the cold nights. She checked me out and our friendship reached another level. Eventually I sat on the porch and ‘ignored’ her, knowing she would eventually circle me and check me out, as long as I sat still and quiet. After years, I was able to pet her. After years, I could call to her and she’d come to the porch. And she was getting some weight on her body and her fur was looking healthy and beautiful.
I also trapped her and took her to a cat rescue to be spayed and vaccinated, bringing her home to heal. I put her cage in the powder room where there was a litter box, food and water for her and critically, a quiet place for her to heal. I visited her each day, many times a day, but didn’t try to touch her. When she healed, sadly, I let her go, thinking I would never see her again. Why would she come back to the place that traumatized her? As she trotted away, I felt like I had let her down, somehow. But at least she wouldn’t have yet another litter of kittens. Over time she had had four; three were hidden away by her and the fourth, she brought to the safe porch and which I adopted out to good homes.
Eventually, though she trusted me, every other sound frightened her into dashing away, often across the now busy street. So I made a plan to scoop her inside and then…I didn’t know. I only knew I couldn’t bear for anything to happen to my little friend.
I bribed her to the door with fried chicken, scooped her in and she bolted upstairs into one of the spare rooms. Okay. I put a litter box in, food, water and toys, and closed the door to give her time to adjust to the new smells and sounds, and to decide whether or not she was going to forgive me. After a week, I just cracked the door a bit and left her to her own plans. One day I looked at the landing of the stairs and there she was, looking at me. When I turned to her, she ran back to her room. But another day as I sat in the living room, I looked down to see her sitting by my feet. From then on, it was a slowly developing friendship on her part; I loved her nearly from the beginning.
Now she sleeps with me, actually ON me, every night. After 5 years I can pick her up but not too often, she talks to me, purrs, gives me love nibbles. She NEVER gives me a minute’s trouble. It’s a big deal that she purrs, because she was completely silent for years. I didn’t think she knew how to purr, that she had never felt safe enough to purr. She greets me with a kitty hello each morning and lets me brush her and cuddle with her. And amazingly, often (because of course she knows my routine) she lays on the floor and poses with her belly exposed. That’s huge! I feel incredibly honored to be trusted by her. Now she makes me step over her if she’s comfortable where she is.
So, this is my ‘favorite thing’, even though she chose me! For some reason, out of all of the homes, she came to mine, kept coming to mine, even before there were any rewards for her. She’s the sweetest cat I’ve ever shared life with. I’ve had probably 20 cats over the years, and all have been/are lovely creatures, each with his/her own personality and spirit. But Cinnamon is the sweetest, kindest, least spoiled of all of my pets. I like to think she realized how I helped her, but in reality? She saved me a much as I saved her.
Yes bad things are happening. Yes, they could lead to the annihilation of many humans, maybe even me. So why are we just reclining while we watch this HORRIFIC news? Well, I’ll tell you, not in order of significance by the way.
First, it feels orchestrated. It REALLY does.
Second, the welcome mat was rolled out for criminals and terrorists at the southern border. On purpose. They’re here, have been here long enough to lay out the agenda for attacks, polish all of the silver, have a smoke. They’re probably having a cocktail and relaxing until the ‘go’ button is pushed. The terrorists want to eliminate us and take this beautiful country so they can ruin it. OH! I almost forgot, they’re going to DRILL BABY DRILL hahaha. I can hear wailing and gnashing of teeth from here. hahaha.
Third, our taxpayer money went to pay HUGE money to the origin of several terrorist organizations who hate America and want to annihilate us. Already tried, in fact. In an horrific manner, which today doesn’t appear to offend anyone (see item seven).
Fourth, no way to know what’s true and what’s not on the ‘news’. The art of the ‘red herring’ has been perfected by the elite controllers coupled with ‘the media’. And it is actually very sad how corrupted a once admired group have become. And it’s uncomfortable to have no idea where the truth lies. Truth, by the way is its own entity. There is no “MY truth”. That would be an OPINION of THE truth.
Fifth, everyone is suspicious of the reason for our HUGE CASH contributions to Ukraine. We know what we are TOLD, but who can believe it? Not me. I think there are some things in Ukraine that need to be ‘protected’. Oh, you know what I mean. Question: why have they not been bombed? Maybe there’s a use for them by the conquerers in the aftermath (Hint: not America) to control any survivors of what is coming our way.
Sixth: Our ‘government’ does everything they can do to show hatred for America, so hey, why not destroy her. The ones building this disaster have made themselves rich and they think they will be immune to whatever happens in the future. Hmmm.
Seventh: The elite crooks in charge have figured out two things: 1) How stupid people are; and 2) How much they can manipulate us right in front of us and duh, the great stupid majority do not get it. Still gonna vote for you, criminals.
Eighth: Our votes don’t matter. The corruption is so great that it has grown beyond anything thinking Americans can do to stop it. Note: a small percentage of us have not lost our critical thinking skills.
Ninth: I know this will confuse the Smooth-Brains, but here we go: Discrimination is BAD! You cannot be a HATER! We will paint ourselves and take over the highways if you don’t RECOGNIZE everyone’s right to exist and have RIGHTS! We will chain ourselves to trailers parked across the road; we will lay down in front of your trucks and cars, we will burn your cities, loot your stores, shoot you…in the name of peace of course! But uh, let’s just wipe out Israel and anyone who looks like them, acts like them, worships like them, anywhere until they are all dead. OH MY GOD the absolute stupidity. STUPIDITY. These people are hypocrites and they are just plain stupid. Oh, and by the way, we are not allowed to VICTIM blame, except when Israelis are murdered. It’s okay to blame them. Again, stupid, wrong, hypocritical. I will never give protestors another second of credibility about ‘rights’ about not being a ‘hater’. Why? Because they are liars, and I hate a lie to the core of my being. I’m taking notes and will never support a person or entity who supports a hate agenda. I will watch YOU and see whether or not you practice what you preach, and if you don’t, I will call you out on that. I have always been a kind person, with an intent to be fair and honest to all. But I have been called privileged and a racist, so what the hell. I’ve been falsely labeled by a group who claim to want equality, while they threaten me, even with death. They have lost all credibility because the well has been poisoned.
Ah, there are more but I’m tired of listing. I just want to say this: Criminals are being used to foment the takeover of America by ‘the government’ by military means. Once that happens, criminals, you will not be needed and will, in fact, be viewed as insurgents. Oh we know what happens to insurgents in a dictatorship, don’t we? I would say these people should think about that, but uh, they don’t think. So I recommend they just bend over and kiss…you know. Their days are numbered.
And, in a dictatorship, what do you think happens to PROTESTORS? hahaha. This is the only thing that makes me smile when I look at what’s happening to our country. THESE GUYS will be gone pretty quickly because, hey, there’s no protesting in a dictatorship! hahaha. Dumbasses. See now, THIS is where thinking comes in handy.
Let’s go back to the sixth item, just for fun: Do you know of countries where the ‘new’ dictator hauls out the competition…even uncles…and takes them out? Seen anything like that in the last century? Oh sure you have. Think N Korea. So, if the ‘wealthy elites’, think they’re gonna get a big hug and pat on the back? hahah. Uh, no. They are too dangerous and crooked, mainly too power hungry. Their days are also numbered, RIGHT along with the stupid ones they so easily manipulated. They might even be standing beside the minions at the end. Might be standing beside me, but I will be laughing at them. Again, here’s where the ability to think would have been beneficial.
Oh maybe they think they will rule the WHOLE world; there won’t be anyone to take them out. Well, what about their fellow insurgents? There’s only room for one at the top. Laughing again.
By the way, if you cry wolf often enough, people will recognize the game. It’s happening. See how I tied this back in to the title? Amazing.
Stay as safe as you can. I’m going to be in my recliner, well not a recliner; I don’t own one. But I’ll be relaxing. We get exactly what we deserve.
Sigh. Watching YouTube again and seeing videos of some people saying, “Like, seriously? Like, you want me to go to war? You can get f*#ked.” The choice, they say, is to get mowed down by an AK type weapon the minute I set one foot on war soil OR go to prison for 5 years where I can live for FREE? Well, first, it’s not free. We the people pay for it. And second, say goodbye to the cell phone and all of your video games. That should scare the crap out of you. Oh and third, there are other options than getting killed or running. Fourth? There are some bad people in prison. Did you know that?
Let’s talk about running. Being on the run requires work. You don’t have wifi. You don’t have your toiletries, no bathroom. You have to figure out finances and BOOM. They’ve got you. Watch some true crime channels; you can’t hide.
You might get one of the military jobs that don’t require you to stand in gunfire. If you have the right qualifications and don’t WANT to be boots on the ground (many brilliant people are willing to do that) there are other jobs you could do. Maybe you can be a cook. Maybe you can help stock the uniforms that get sent to the soldiers. Maybe you can be on a ship.
But I am WILLING to pay for you to stay for ten years though, if you want to go to jail. Or twenty. Clearly five years isn’t a deterrent. How about life?
I’ve had my brain assaulted by a cry for equality in the military, even to the LGBTQ whatever other letter has been added (I can’t keep up). And we have a transgender person advertising for US Navy recruitment. Okay, so now this doesn’t apply anymore? Now you don’t want it? What did you think you were wailing for? Which is it? I mean, do you know that military means?
This is exactly why the special interest groups cannot be take seriously. Well one of the reasons; there are many these days. Even THEY don’t know what they want. Why? It requires thinking about more than genitals or the costume you want to wear, or hair gel. Or skin. And it increasingly reveals the truth, which is that some of the special interest groups just want to wail. About anything. And there’s the cry wolf thing.
See, we live in a violent world, and increasingly one you cannot trust. Many of the wailers are contributing to the lack of trust because they talk, or wail, out of both sides of their mouth. Now, we can’t trust the news, can’t trust the institutions we once held in high esteem (Harvard), can’t trust school teachers, police, lawyers, judges…even the people who cry out for fair treatment. Well fair is a place you go to get cotton candy. There is no fair and never has been. Do you think politicians do what they tell you they’re going to do? They never do, in part because it becomes a group effort which requires some kind of agreement.
These wailers have become so unreadable that nobody hears them anymore. They have become background noise, a posted video to make thinking people laugh, or sigh in boredom, or just skip over. Here’s the thing. First they probably didn’t vote at all, but if they DID vote for a warmonger, better suit up and grab a weapon. Doesn’t that make sense? It doesn’t take a genius to understand that if you send your people out to war on MANY fronts, you’re gonna need a lot more people. I could see this ‘draft’ stuff coming the first week of Ukraine. Hell, that country has practically wiped out its young male population. Now they need ours. Now your president, the one you voted for, is thinking about sending you right on over.
War is profitable. Haven’t we heard that for years? Well, we have if we have paid attention. These are the things we need to focus on in election times. Focus on who’s going to ship our little soft hands and gelled hair into harm’s way. This coming disaster might just be the thing that wakes us up. Pop up from the prairie dog tunnel and look around. It’s not a place designed to make any of us feel good. It’s brutal out here in the real world. Moreso every day.
Or maybe prison would work fine for the ones who are deciding. I think most people would rather have their freedom. And I don’t think you have an idea of how prison works. It’s not a vacation. You have to get up early! They have jobs! Communal showers, bad food! Maybe that’s the either/or. Prison food or a bullet. Well, you can dodge a bullet.
Israel. Anyone who puts out info is talking about her. I studied religion in college and so I know something about the history of Israel and the region. It’s so complicated that I would venture to say that nobody knows exactly how things went; but I do know that even the videos I’m seeing, and which I trust, contradict one another in some ways. I freely admit that I am not an expert; and I freely admit that Harvard is not the go-to place for information. They are wrong. The place to go to is the people whose roots go deep there, and you don’t stop digging just when you find what you want the excavation to say; you keep digging until you dig all the way to the origin. All the way. And dare I say? Even if you get to the actual bottom, you will NEVER know what went on behind closed doors of negotiations, ANY negotiations. So don’t act like you know. Stop yelling and hopping around and study history. Outside the echo chamber. And learn from a source outside of your family, by the way, or you professors: They are prejudiced. And you don’t just kill a people. That’s genocide.
What I am an expert on is massacre. And no, I didn’t study it. I am a human being. You just KNOW. I just know that to spring a massacre on women and children, to specifically target them, is unconscionable and in fact, it is a deliberate act of war. It is a deliberate decision to ignite a world war. Did you get that? And it is what happens in an echo chamber: You start to think you are stronger, better, more right, smarter than you actually are. That is the danger of closing off yourself from other voices that have a different perspective, a different opinion; dissenting voices have just as much right to them as you guys in the silo, listening to your own voices echoing back telling you how right you are. Now, in the words of Benjamin Netanyahu, you are also ‘dead men’. I hope America is able to dig down into the dangers of the echo chamber mentality; But I also believe these lessons will fly over the doddering heads of USA government like a bird protecting its nest. Perhaps the bird will make one of these old fools fall up some stairs, or freeze their speech, or fall out of their wheelchair.
Side note: How can you think putting a transvestite in an ad for US military recruitment would NOT ignite the passions of Hamas? Or Hezbollah? Regardless of your personal beliefs, you must know that the culture of the middle east would view that as great weakness of our military and also outright enrage them to murder as they laugh. Their culture does not allow for this kind of behavior. I get it; people want to be heard and be whom they are, but you can NOT ignore deep-rooted cultural norms of other countries. You want to be global, here is lesson one. Know where the land mines are and at least try not to step on them, unless your actions are part of a larger plan. Unless you are trying to bring down a great nation. The problem is, none of the people making these advertisement decisions have ever studied history, and/or they only care about themselves…another American effort to ask to be defeated. Only strong people can look outward at reality and face it. The rest are cowards. People, some other cultures view you as a freak who needs to be eradicated. You had better know it.
Radicals in America need to know they will be eliminated first if we are attacked. Your special rights will mean nothing to the ones who started this war. They will kill you. But I digress.
The problem with this love of murder and violence is that you don’t foist it upon yourselves or upon your like kind; you visit it on people who are just living their lives. I live in the US and for God’s sake I disagree with 90% of what our ‘government’ does. But I am a good person, I work hard, I don’t even like killing insects. Now, in spite of that, I expect this middle east violence to come home to me. In fact, I’ve expected it for a long time because my government embarrasses me; they are weak and ridiculous and they do not represent Americans. Bumbling, stammering outright pandering and corruption sent out a bat signal to terrorists. I believe this current weak America has a lot to do with Hamas and its comrades starting this war, because I believe they stopped laughing at us and started building weapons. And collecting money from the current administration…and I use that word very loosely…in America. How is this behavior not part of a plan to create war?
It’s hard to watch Biden slurring through a lie, while he knows he just gave 6 billion dollars to Iran; and knowing if he keels over, Kamala Harris and her cackling word salad ineptitude would step up to that microphone to further embarrass us. We’re so screwed, and we are also responsible. Oh don’t act surprised or offended. If you have a working brain, you know this.
I used to work in science and had the opportunity to do some work for Israel military once, through my company. It was my first experience with an huge ethical dilemma. If I solved the problem people would most certainly die and if I did not solve it, people would die. I felt nauseated. I didn’t know the importance of my little part of the analysis until I arrived at the conference room to present my results. But I did my job to the best of my ability. I did find the reason for this ‘material failure’, and I presented it.
What I learned that day is that you just DON’T want to fuck with Israel military. I learned it just from some presentation material I was allowed to see. That material did NOT show the whole story, but it amazed me nonetheless. I was also impressed because the lead scientist there was a woman. I did not expect that, but it did show me that Israel was in the 21st century, not stuck in religious rules from the 19th century and earlier.
I’m so sad for the Israeli people and others who were massacred, and for their loved ones, and I’m also proud of Israel for taking a stand. I believe that you really do reap what you sow, I believe what goes around comes around, I believe you don’t throw out massacre karma and expect to walk away from that behavior unscathed. I feel the deep psychological irony of feeling glad that Israel is finally understanding that you cannot hug Hamas and expect anything other than murder in return. It seems Israel is acknowledging, in front of the world, their understanding of the web of racism and a desire to commit genocide against the Jews. I feel the prick of guilt about being glad Hamas are getting their comeuppance, finally. And I feel proud that the IDF look sharp and well put together, barely breaking a sweat.
And I am still in data gathering mode as I watch the reactions around the world. Again, I am ashamed of my fellow countrymen; I stop short of calling them Americans. I find some kind of satisfaction in seeing my predictions come true. And I also can say that Biden might need yet a second war for his poll numbers, but it’s not working. He needs to go to his basement permanently and let someone with a working brain and no connected puppet strings, take back our country, make us strong and respected again. Everything Biden has done seems directed at destroying America. Well, his puppet masters anyway. Biden’s brain is on permanent vacation.
I also find it quite interesting that Egypt built a wall to keep the Palestinians OUT of their country, and that none of their Arab fellow nations welcome them either. You are judged by the company you keep, and it seems that while you don’t embrace your ‘company’, you can surely use them to accomplish your murderous goals from ‘behind the scenes’. I wonder why nobody wants to let the Palestinians in their country? Well, Hamas is why. And yes, not all Palestinians are terrorists, to be clear. Again this is what happens when you let a so-called elected government take over a people for their own gain and their own goals. Americans, are you listening? Are you seeing the outcome here?
Now, Israel has announced that they are done, finished, over trying to exist and do the right thing for their people. My very first reaction to the attack on Israel was, “Oh no. Hamas has no idea what they have done.” You don’t poke that sleeping lion. You don’t fuck with Israel. Israel do not care where they have to send their troops to cut off the head of the Hamas snake, and it makes me laugh that they ignore the whining “Oh let’s have peace” tired, old mantras. Step aside crybabies. There IS no peace with terrorists among us. And as much as we dislike death, this is what has to happen to the terrorists. And it does’t need to stop with Hamas. And unless you applaud massacre, unless you want to starve, unless you want armageddon, you had better get that. As for me, I believe average IQ continues to drop and we are seeing the results in living color.
Yes, this may lead to a third world war, which may make the crybabies in America happy, until they lose their wifi. Which they will. Until they are chased by murders who don’t respect their LGBTQ-ness, and instead find it a perfectly good reason for beheading. Until your atheist ways make you a certain target. Until they find that the ones chasing them don’t respect ‘me me me’ but rather respect their ancient culture. This isn’t going to end well. Hey, I’m a senior so I’m done, for sure. I’m a part of one of the most blatantly discriminated against groups in America. I get it.
Now, having said all of that let me reiterate: You do not fuck with Israel. One 20 year war correspondent veteran said of Israel’s tanks moving in: “I’ve never seen so many tanks in one place, ever.” Told ya. I laughed at that one.
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