On Being a Good Advisor…

Any good real estate agent is also a trusted advisor…or should be. Our advice is based on years of experience and heaven knows HOW many hours of classes and training and updates.  I know:  You can get a BOAT LOAD of information from the internet.  But listen up: That’s not good enough.  Here’s why.

A good real estate agent will know things about rules, the law, building code, builders, different areas and what that means to commute times and shopping, how homes are built and what to look for to find hidden issues, things you won’t find online.  We’ll know how to negotiate: when to hold and when to fold.  And I can’t say for sure, but I’m willing to bet my accuracy is better than most of the automated valuation systems when it comes to pricing a home to sell.  Your agent will have had boots on the ground where the internet has not trodden, and your agent will know things about buying or selling that the internet cannot convey.  So it doesn’t matter what kind of phone you have, which internet provider you use, what iteration of I-pad you have.  Your agent will win the competition.  Or at least this one will.

In other words, it would behoove (cool word) you to avail yourself of your agent’s expertise and realize that there’s one real estate agent in the car…and it ain’t you.  Yeah, I said ain’t.  I like that word.  It has personality.  And I’m a bit arrogant that way. I think I have a good enough grasp of the English language to tweak it when I want to.

But I digress. Bring along your smart phone because if you ride with me, you navigate.  I don’t want you to be bored.  Bring along your notes, your ideas, your opinions, because they matter.   But remember to ask a lot and don’t act like the realtor. 

I want my clients to be smarter than me in case we break down and I need someone to figure out the computer system operating my car…or to feel brave about finding a nearby repair shop.  I want my clients to be able to discuss the Hadron Collider with me or the latest news about time travel.  But I do not want them to try to be me.  First of all, they can’t handle it, and second…and seriously here…I’m the real estate agent with the license and training…and I’m very good at my job.  Let me do it and you?  Relax and enjoy the tour.  I promise to take good care of you.

 

Customer Service

I got kudos from a client the other day, announced over the radio system for everybody to hear. A customer needed an item in the aftermath of surgery, to help her heal correctly and be comfortable. I probably spent the better part of an hour with her, mere minutes in the grand scheme, finding the right item and helping her order it through the internet ordering system. When it was done, I shook her hand and told her I hoped her healing continued to go well. I meant that with all my heart and I know she knew that.

She went directly to the feedback system and also went to the trouble to call the manager, telling him I went above and beyond the call to help her. That’s what was announced. I appreciated it, but I felt unworthy of praise, and a bit sad, too. Here’s why.

First of all, I believe we ought to help one another when and if we can, if we are able, and if the opportunity presents itself. Nothing feels better than helping someone in need. That’s just how I roll. So it felt smarmy, just a bit, to be recognized for doing something which comes naturally to me and for which I derive so much joy. Secondly, it’s sad that as a society, we aren’t all so inclined. Imagine how great it would be if everybody just found joy in helping others. We’ve become so self absorbed as a society, so materialistic, and that’s not at ALL where our focus should be.

I remember how, as a young girl, one person in particular used to make fun of me for genuinely caring about people in pain, or people with personal issues causing them unrest. I was told I ‘wore my heart on my sleeve’, was called “Ann Landers” if you remember who she was. My friends used to call ME when they needed to talk, because I listened and more importantly because I really cared…and because I wasn’t afraid to give them loving feedback WHEN they asked for it. I felt like there was something wrong with me, or that I was less of a person because I had a ‘soft heart’, as they used to say. Not anymore.

Now, I realize I have a gift, of sorts. Sometimes it’s burdensome, because there are times when there are many bad things happening to people I care about, all at once. But I am always amazed how much it means to them just to know someone is LISTENING and someone cares. Sometimes something seemingly insigniicant I do, something that costs me nothing but time, makes them cry because they are so grateful. Then I cry too, of course. Because there are PEOPLE in those bodies, with hearts and minds, people who MATTER. People who deserve to know they are not alone in the trenches.

I went through terror, once in my life…so far…and had many days, months, years, to observe the behavior of those around me. Granted, I watched through a fog of shock and disbelief, through the worst depression and heartache I have ever experienced. I had a chance to watch me, too. I did a lot of introspection AND observation, and I came out of that…or am COMING out of it, with a whole new perspective on life and a whole new way of looking at the people in my life and how they behave.

First of all, I will NEVER let anybody I know go unaided when they are in pain, or are suffering in any way I can help. Period. Even if it means I have to do without something to help them, they get help. I will NEVER let anyone I care about feel alone or criticized when they are suffering. There’s plenty of time for critical analysis LATER, when they can handle it and IF they ask for it. I know how it feels to be kicked when I’m down; I will never do that. Here’s the thing: If I have to do without a new shirt in order to give someone in need one…that’s the job. Give them a new shirt; they need it more than I do. It’s that simple.

Second, if someone talks about “love”, I know what to look for to find out what that means to THEM. If their love has a hammer symbol instead of a helping hand symbol, that’s not love. If their love is holding out a basket into which you can deposit stuff, instead of a basket full of stuff to give out, well, that’s not my kind of love. Love involves some take, yes, but I think…and this is just me…love should involve more give. From everybody involved, otherwise it’s parasitic and selfish…which most love is today, I think.

So I took the time to actually CONNECT with this client, to find out what she needed. Then, lo and behold, I was able to give that…with care thrown in because that’s what I do. And it was great. She got the items she needed, but I got joy. I think she might have gotten some too. And that, my friends, is love. And it’s enough, all by itself, even without recognition. In fact, I like it better when nobody knows.

Shrinking Inventory in the Real Estate World

The Perfect Storm is looming.  Interest rates are creeping up; housing inventory is shrinking; people are rushing to buy, people who were on the fence for some time.  It’s turning into a seller market, for these reasons and one other one that’s HUGE.  Multiple offers are commonplace.  Great for sellers.  Not good for buyers who are used to insisting on paint color being perfect before they even buy, carpet being new in a ten year old house, the right smell, the right temperature.  Sellers, celebrate.  Buyers, take a deep breath.  The world we knew a year ago has flipped.

When sellers have multiple offers on a home you really love, suddenly their repair budget shrinks or yes, even disappears altogether.  Some offers are high with ZERO concessions.  Suddenly that decor isn’t so bad after all, suddenly sellers are smack dab in the middle of the driver’s seat.  And folks, as inventory continues to go away, it’s going to become even more dramatic.

For so long sellers were put through the wringer trying to sell, and now it’s about to swing strongly in the other direction, moving so quickly through the middle ground we’re likely to miss it.  If you’re a seller, it’s a great time to have your home listed.  Buyers, better get busy, because not only might you have to compete with several others to get the home you love, you’re going to pay a lot more each month as interest rates creep up.

I said, some time ago, that one truism is that the universe WILL balance.  It happens in all areas of life, and it’s happening in real estate now. Don’t you feel it?  Exciting times.  Don’t miss out on the still good prices and interest rates, people.  We’re about to see house prices, first on new construction, take a big leap.

Call me and let’s get busy!

Of Course…the Arias Trial…

I came within a few steps…literally…of being selected to serve on a death penalty case jury. I thought the idea was fascinating and something I’d be good at…until I saw the defendant.  He had stabbed his wife to death with their three month old child in close proximity…and I couldn’t take my eyes off of his hands.  They were pale and feminine, not the sort of hands you’d expect to be murderous at all.  But they were.  It wasn’t contested whether or not he killed his wife, only what his punishment should be.  And there I was, fifteen feet away from this man, potentially about to be selected to determine his fate.   I felt physically ill.  Before that time, I was absolutely in favor of the death penalty…but when it came time to put up or shut up, I realized I could never be the one to call for another’s death. Not at the time.  I was younger then.

I looked at the Travis Alexander autopsy photos online.  If you haven’t seen them, don’t.  They are too disturbing and the act of violence they portray slithers into your gut and your phyche and you’ll feel nauseated and you won’t sleep. And you’ll feel very, very sad…not only about poor Travis, but also about our society in general.   What comes forth is that this poor man suffered tremendous violence and pain…and he fought to live.  His wounds show that.  His last moments alive were filled with the sort of terror no human being should have to experience, particularly not if you’re someone like Travis apparently was.  I have such a palatable sense of loss without him in the world.  We NEED more people like him.

Travis filled his life with service, apparently, and according to his journal entry…one of the last…he intended to make this year the most giving of all.  I think he might have pulled it off. If he hadn’t encountered the bloodsucker.  The one named Jodi.

Here’s the thing.  He got himself tied up with a person who was charming, manipulative, and used to not only getting her way but also never having taken responsibility for any wrongs in her life.  People like that, especially ones diagnosed as having bipolar disorder, can be very charming, and they get through life by being manipulative, ingratiating, and…here’s the important part…attaching themselves to people who are NOT that way. They seek out honest, hardworking, giving people and particularly ones who tend to be very calm and focused about their life.  They are parasites, ultimately, and when they think they are either losing their host OR not getting their way about something important to them (it’s always ALL AND ONLY about them)…they can explode, and they do.  I’ve seen it happen up close and personally.

Jodi described Travis as being a very calm person.  Now…if someone asked you to describe your lover, would ‘calm’ be one of the first things you said?  NO!  You’d say cute, or funny or smart.  Not ‘calm’.  So here’s my theory.  I know, through testimony, that Travis was ending the relationship.  I think Jodi tried to manipulate him, even sexually the day of his murder, and it wasn’t working.  My guess is that he was very calm and deliberate in letting her know that her manipulations weren’t working and weren’t GOING to.  And she lost it.  I think, like all of her type, she is EXTREMELY vindictive, and she threw everything she had in to making him pay for not giving her her way.

People say she must have been abused as a child.  I call bull on that.  It think she was spoiled ROTTEN, always got her way, always thought she was adorable and that EVERYTHING she did was wonderful.  People like that never learn to take responsibilty for things going sideways, because the adults in their life never let them SEE that.  Mommy or Daddy usually make their lives perfect and when it’s time to grow up, they don’t…they just find another ‘mommy’ or ‘daddy’ to make their lives perfect AND to take the blame for all bad things. The person closest to one of these animals gets to bear the weight of the world.  It’s true.  And it’s terrible.  I’m guessing Jodi’s mommy was the ‘good’ parent and Jodi’s daddy was ‘the bad parent’…and I bet mommy worked against daddy a lot.  You haven’t seen daddy around much, have you?

Jodi never expected to be found guilty, and her smug demeanor throughout the trial showed that.  She was used to using people, manipulating people, getting her way.  Now that she knows this ain’t California baby, she has a whole new demeanor.  But she’s still acting. I couldn’t help but wonder whether her face muscles hurt at the end of the day from holding the ‘sad’ face during the victim impact statements.  Another manipulation.  Listen, I can PROMISE you she views HERSELF as the victim.  I lived with one of these types.  For a long time.  I recognize the animal.  She feels victimized.  Even though she brutalized Travis, butchered the man.

So now…not only would I vote in FAVOR of the death penalty for Jodi, I’d push the button.  People like her suck the life out of anybody stupid enough to fall for their manipulations…and we fall for them because we view the world as good, as WE are good, because we are trusting and we want to serve.  We end up being nothing more than a host for the parasite, a platform from which they can spring their insanity, and the person to whom they point the blame when things don’t work out…and they NEVER work out for these people because they eventually, always show their true colors…and they get caught.   It’s important to not only realize there are a LOT of Jodi’s out there, bad people who WILL kill if they feel the need to, people whose reality isn’t ‘normal’.  It’s their own reality with them at the center…because they never grow up.

As long as the Jodi’s of the world don’t commit brutal murder, we can deal with them.  Some of us have done it and some are doing it now.  In this case, however, I say death is the only answer.  She will do this again, given the right circumstances.  Of that I have NO doubt.

Oh, and here’s something else VERY important:  Jodi tried her level best to make this all Travis’s fault.  She tried her BEST to make him out to be a monster.  Yeah, I’ve had that happen to me too.  It rarely works…because the parasite’s true colors always come through…It’s the only gratification the normal people have: the truth comes out.

The Value of Wisdom

One great gift to which we all have access is the wisdom of those who have gone before us, whether it is by virtue of age and experience, or by having charted territory we have yet to see.  There is value to listening to the experiences of others, their success AND failure stories, because that is how we achieve greatness sooner, rather than later.  It’s great to build upon that wisdom, but to completely disregard it is to waste precious time.

We’re arrogant in our country, and I’m sure we don’t hold the patent on that sentiment or behavior.  But in America, we tend to look at the ones who are ahead of us on the path as having targets on their backs, rather than mapmakers and sources of information we can use. We see them as someone to best, to pass quickly up the ladder and often we miss the whole point of the climb.

I watched a movie called “I Am”, based, you might have guessed, on the ten commandments, one of which is to honor your father and mother.  We tend to not do that much anymore, choosing instead to believe we have it all figured out…when we don’t.  Nobody does, in fact.

Anyway, the short point is that there is value in the experiences and teachings of others, and that, by the way, is a two way street.  Nobody has ever walked the exact path as another.  Each has his/her own perspective and life experience and each has value. 

JC Penney Silo Master

Well, they fired the JCP CEO.  While I never want to see anybody lose his job, this one was certain to happen if the company has a snowball’s chance in Hades of surviving. And it might not.  It took too long for everybody to figure out what they needed to do.  I saw this one coming when the new CEO threw away his customer base and tried to replace it with youngsters with no money and no desire to shop where grandma shopped.  He failed to realize that there are FEWER of them than there were of the original customer base, and more choices for them to utilize.  Duh.  And, JCP stopped offering quality merchandise and instead packed the stores with junk NOBODY wanted. And…these stores are usually an anchor store in a mall where the lease is HUGE.  Is this ROCKET SCIENCE?  No.  I’ve done rocket science.  This ain’t it.  JCP used to be my only place to go for great quality sweaters.  Even the higher end stores couldn’t match their value and quality with regard to, in particular, their Spring sweaters. I went there for sweaters; and I bought everything else I needed.  I loved their housewares department before they stocked it with junk.  But that’s not THE main reason JCP failed.  It failed because the new guy wanted to build a silo.

I see this kind of thing happen all the time, and it’s not new.  One author I read recently  (I can’t remember his name) coined ‘silo building’ (Google him and find his book; it’s really good).  Here’s how it goes…

First, a paradigm is created where one or more entities within a company have a need to break out from the pack at the expense of the team (maybe not even realizing they are nuking the team).  Maybe it’s not a paradigm; maybe it’s just one giant ego being brought on board who wants to MAKE HIS MARK (dogs just pee on it and maybe if people did that we’d all be better off). So that person creates his own little empire (his goal all along and in fact his NEED) and starts stacking these slightly curved blocks… building a silo…around himself and a selected few.  Silos don’t have windows, mind you; they don’t need them.  But the PROBLEM with that is that there’s no communication possible and the problem is, also, that once the underground competition sets in, you CAN’T communicate because all you could say is, “I’m trying to beat you.”

Once the silo builder starts building his tower, others have to do the same or risk being overshadowed.  Besides, in the beginning, the silo builder looks like a star; he’s having all kinds of success!  He makes others look like they’re napping…but there’s a reason for that.

Okay, let’s have an example; let’s say you’re in retail.  Retail establishments are RIFE with silo builders.  So the first silo builder essentially forces other entities within the company to follow suit, and before you know it, you have building blocks half way up and resources become GOLDEN.  You need resources to build silos after all, and the higher the walls the more resources (people, money) you need.  Chances are you’ll get them because…well you look like a star right now, remember?  But what’s really happening is that the first nail in the coffin of the organization as a whole, has just been hammered in.

So there becomes a built-in, destined competition for resources, usually the low wage earners who are running like horses to make the managers’ wishes come true.  Silo builder number one gets most of the resources because at first, he’s the only one who knows what he’s up to AND he probably doesn’t realize or care that he may be killing the host.  He’s just focused on making his vision a reality and that’s not a bad thing in and of itself, but it’s very dangerous for an organization that needs balance and nimbleness to respond to customer needs and desires.

Okay, so let’s say he’s in charge of the stock room, only that.  Once he has the lion’s share of the resources, the stockroom is going to start to look VERRRY good. The shelves will be stocked neatly; everything will be labeled, the floor will be swept.  It’ll be GREAT…At the expense of the appearance of the store, the place where CUSTOMERS are, and in fact at the expense of customer service…which is the supreme savior of retail.  Also in the crosshairs now, is the morale of the others who are trying to make their retail establishment competitive and customer friendly, who are trying to do their job and that of at least one other…who is now in the main silo.  Everybody outside the primary silo becomes frustrated, exhausted, and a failure…because nobody can sustain that kind of workload and because the workload BECOMES unmanageable. Individuals can do the work of one, maybe two, on a sustained level, but not three or four.  Plus, these people, remember, are the low wage earners.  There’s not a lot of incentive to run a marathon every day, month after month, particularly if you’ve already failed at the start because the workload outside the primary silo, has become…unmanageable.  If, in retail, the employees outside of the primary silo become worn out and unhappy, frustrated and edgy….guess what happens to CUSTOMER SERVICE, the supreme savior of retail?  Right.

The primary silo builder grabs the best of the best resources…because that’s what he needs to make his vision a reality (it’s what anybody would need or want, right), leaving the other lagging silo builders to compete for the other, less desirable or maybe less qualified ones.  Nobody’s happy at this point except the primary silo builder and his resources.  The primary silo builder is getting recognized, and his resources are getting good pay, nice hours.  And by the way, the workforce budget is spent behind the walls, where the customers never go.

Now that’s not all bad.  There are good reasons to have a neat and organized operation, where you know what you have and where it is and where everything’s clean and neat.  But…not at the expense of the appearance of the shopping areas, where the customers are, customers, who can kill your operation just by NOT going there.  If you consider that customers are more entitled than they have ever been, more demanding of stellar service…it wouldn’t make sense to deliberately erode that service, would it?  No.  And silo builders usually don’t realize they’re doing that.  They are just trying to make their mark, make their vision a reality, get a raise, get a promotion, be recognized, prove their worth…all that jazz.

So, the lagging silo builders have not only been crippled with respect to the best and the brightest, but now they have to try to make it work with FEWER of the middle of the pack employees. If they DON’T make it work, their upper management will tear them up, comparing them to the primary silo builder (not realizing he’s sinking with the REST of the ship), and hence eroding the morale of the other silo builders.  The morale of the workers is already tanking and now the managers, the secondary and tertiary silo builders, are falling too.  Uh oh.  Too bad the higher level managers can’t see this.  Don’t feel bad; they didn’t see it at JCP either.

There are places where silos are okay.  Farms.

Retail is the WORST place for them because in retail, things change on a dime and the entire operation has to be able to not only change direction in a second, but also do it while making the customers ecstatic.  So they’ll come back.  So they won’t go to the PLETHORA of other places they COULD go…and WILL go if their needs are not met. And…this is important…the workforce here MUST be happy, because they sure aren’t there for the money.  And they won’t stay if they aren’t happy.  So if you’re already running lean and you lose your best ‘leftovers’, oops.  Real trouble.

What seems important to me, a real nobody, is that teamwork is important in retail and so is foresight!  JCP turned their focus inward, onto themselves, and worked like all get out to build a great little silo with little lounges and vignettes…but they forgot to ask the customers what THEY wanted.  It does no good to make a mark if nobody SEES it, or, more importantly, if it’s a colossal failure.

Why JC Penney is Tanking

As is the case of all blogs, this is my opinion. But it’s also common sense. My CAT could have predicted this if he could speak English.  Or cared.. JC Penney just posted the worst quarter in the HISTORY of retail…if you believe the news.  Well duh. Anybody I talk to isn’t surprised at all because JCP had it ALL wrong. 

First, they decided to put all of their effort into courting a demographic that wouldn’t love them UNLESS they were rather last retail store on the planet. This IS their mother’s store no matter how much they change the logo. 

Second and most important, they completely disregarded the demographic who handed them their success. Ask any Baby Boomer EX JC Penney shopper.  They’ll tell you. 

JCP got sloppy and dirty and unfriendly to their customers…the ones who handed them profits year after year. They got fat and lazy and thought they didn’t have to work to keep us. Then instead of looking inward and doing some hard evaluation, they blamed us…their bread and butter…and they kicked us to the curb. 

So we’ve voted with our feet and our wallets. We went where we were wanted and importantly, valued. If JCP wants to survive, they need to BEG us to come back. They should restock their shelves with the things WE like and want, they need to price them competitively and make sure they are of the quality we once expected from JCP…and they should beg for our forgiveness. Maybe then we’ll stop thinking how they are getting EXACTLY what they deserve and give them another chance to appreciate us. Or maybe not. 

And by the way…if they wanted to appeal to the Old Navy crowd, they should have changed the NAME as well as the logo. DUH.  Even with that, we don’t need another Target or Old Navy and…we are still the ones with the discretionary money to keep you in business. 

I think that’s worth a day of CEO salary. 

 

 

What Love Isn’t

Somebody very important to me asked me if I knew what love is?   What a question. Of course I don’t know. I THOUGHT I did, but boy did I get schooled.

I answered, “Does anybody?”  I’m not sure about that one, actually.  My guess would be that most people haven’t given it much thought and that most people have love and lust confused.  Maybe there’s no such thing at all; maybe it’s a perfect match of one person being a host and the other a parasite…and I’m sure there are nicer WORDS for it, but you get the idea.

I’ve learned that each person’s definition of love, if they could even adequately articulate it, is as unique as that person is among the whole population of Earth.  So I ask YOU: what is love?

Think about it; before you answer ask yourself what would love look like if you took lust out of the picture.  I know, hard to imagine.  Still give it a shot.  Also take out the OBLIGATION factor; I mean love from child to parent, for example.  If not for those things, how would you describe love?

I don’t have the ‘right’ answer.  Maybe there isn’t one.  But I can talk about some things love isn’t.  First of all, it isn’t lust; it isn’t about sex.  And if you plan to build a so-called loving relationship, like marriage…on sex, forget it; it’s  not gonna work.

Love isn’t going after somebody because they have assets you’d like to take from them…things like bank accounts or properties or a nice home.  That’s not love.  That’s targeting an innocent party for your own financial gain.

Love isn’t keeping track of what someone does for you, or events for which they show up; it isn’t about the gifts they’ve given.  In other words, if love had arrows pointing, there should be one going toward oneself and one going away from oneself, or it isn’t love.  Love is not one-sided; love is not ‘taking’.  And it’s not all giving either. It HAS to be both give and take.

Love isn’t devoid of sacrifice. It’s full of sacrifice, or it should be…I think.  Love isn’t convenient.  Sometimes love means we have to break a sweat doing things we’d rather not do, for someone who simply needs us.  Sacrificial love doesn’t always show up during slack times; sometimes it shows up in the middle of a busy time.  If you can’t sacrifice even then…it isn’t love.

Love isn’t doing hurtful things when you don’t get you way or you want to do something you shouldn’t. You can’t hurt someone you love. If you DO or desire to, that’s not love.  You can’t do harm to someone you love. If that kind of behavior is in YOUR kind of love, please stay far from me. I already know you.

There is no such thing as unconditional love.  If someone says they love you unconditionally, better pat them down for your best silver or that nice ring you just bought.  There is no such thing as unconditional love.  If you aren’t getting something out of it, you’re probably comatose.   Remember there’s an arrow pointing in, too, and  if there’s not you are not human. Nobody’s that generous.

I do know this about love.  Never mind. I don’t know.

Stubborn and real estate don’t mix.

The One Hundred Thousand Dollar Stubborn Streak
(or, Blood is Shooting Out of My Eyes)

There is a …maybe a million dollar home which just sold for about ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS less than its value, primarily because of one outstanding attribute of the sellers: Stubbornness. I have to talk about this, people. I just have to. These sellers deserve to be applauded, even lauded for their supreme grasp of the phenomenon of stubbornness, because they took it to soaring heights and even paid six figures for the sake of holding on to it. They are my champions so far. Nobody else beats this streak.

Somebody will though. Somebody will. You can’t make this stuff up.

Don’t get me wrong. They’re lovely folks. But they take resistance to good solid advice, presented in the interest of getting them top dollar, to new heights. Or should I say depths. I should say depths. There it is. I am not the listing agent by the way. If I WAS I couldn’t write because you can’t write with an exploded head.

I’ve run across this tendency many times in my career. Usually the ones who own it best are the ones who think they are the Realtors, the ones with professional real estate training and professional real estate experience, even though they’ve never actually BEEN a Realtor. They think this because 1) they have big egos; 2) they think they are smarter than everybody else…everybody; 3) they hold Realtors in low esteem; 4) they don’t do well with separating emotion from business; and 5) they have bought or sold a home before. Okay and 6) they want to hold on to their ‘decorating’ theme…and I use that term loosely at times…even at the cost of oh say ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS!

I can hear all of the realtors saying, “AMEN!”. No, wait. Some are looking around and saying, “Are you kidding me? One hundred THOUSAND?” That’s right. I’m not kidding. Do I look like I’m kidding with smoke coming out of my ears over here??

You need to think about this. Just because you’ve been IN a courtroom, does that make you an attorney? Because you’ve had surgery, are you now a surgeon? If you’ve had surgery twice are you now CHIEF of surgery? I think some people think they ARE! If you look at beautiful art, are you then an artist? NO! So why would you think that just because you’ve bought or sold a home, or bought AND sold one, you are now a Realtor?? It makes about as much sense as the art analogy or any of the others. People, you are not the real estate agents; you are the CLIENTS. I should make a sign.

Gone are the days when realtors are the ones who can’t do anything else and that’s why they’re realtors. That was gone a LONG time ago. Realtors today are educated, strong, talented and up to the minute with stats on YOUR market. We have to be because everybody sues EVERYBODY these days…yes even CLIENTS (that would be YOU), whom we protect. We have a responsibility to you that we take very seriously. 


We protect you, we encourage you and we do our level BEST to make sure you get the MOST for your home that the market will bear. The way we DO that is by making sure you know how to be COMPETITIVE. We tell you what will make your home stand out and get that buyer to make an offer on your home, and we advise you about how you can make that offer SING, not hack like a life-long smoker about to keel over. You can listen to us, OR, you can disregard us and lose ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS.

Here’s a good one. Even after receiving feedback after feedback about grandma’s quilt or the blue wall or the CLUTTER do you think ANYTHING gets changed? NOOOOO! You can’t make this stuff up! You really can’t! The market speaks and some clients pat their ears and say, “la la la la I can’t hear you”. Now I’m crying.

Can you tell I’m upset? I’M UPSET.

And these sellers are mad at the REALTORS!!!! We are the ones who warned you about being competitive, about LISTENING to the feedback and actually DOING something about it. We are the ones who tried to get you top dollar!! My head is about to explode. I can hear it expanding. I really can. It’s creaking.

There was no earthly reason for this house selling this low except for pure, unadulterated, boiled down, precipitated, strained, dried, sifted, freeze-dried, died in the wool STUBBORNESS. Now blood is coming out of my ears too. THIS WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY, LOSING THIS KIND OF INVESTMENT DOLLARS!

Let me alert you. I have two college degrees, one in chemistry, a subject which makes most people cringe. And I graduated at the top of my class. The other degree is in business, where I studied marketing, economics, sales…I’m good at what I do and I’m qualified to have an ego just as big as anybody else. That’s why, if I visit you to talk about selling your home, you should listen to me. And you should listen to other realtors who have been down this road a thousand times and who tell you exactly what you need to do to be competitive in this market. We don’t make this stuff up, people. It’s based on data. Set aside the stubborn streak and think about what you might do with ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS. Is it worth paying that much to keep your grandmother’s quilt on the bed or that neon blue wall in the den? NO! IT’S NOT! For crying out loud, redecorate or paint! You’re LEAVING, remember? Is there still LOGIC in the world? I think there is, but why not in REAL ESTATE?? If you have a 14×14 foot room and enough junk in it to fill an 18×18 foot room, MOVE SOME STUFF OUT! Or, think about what you could do with ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS that you are about to flush down the gold plated TOILET.

You’re selling space, wide open space. Not your ‘décor’, not your grandma’s quilt, not that carving of an amoeba eating a shark. NOT that flower arrangement you made when you were on the crack pipe. SPACE is all you are selling. And not neon blue space. If you have to kick chairs and pillows out of the way to get INTO a neon blue room, LIGHTEN UP THE CLUTTER or kill me now. This is not rocket science, people. I’ve done rocket science; this ain’t it.
So there was this couple who sold their home for ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND less than market value, but they showed US didn’t they? I don’t think so. I think they shot themselves in the foot. Twice. Per foot.

 

You Don’t Know…

I have a hard time watching physicists on TV documentaries, even though sometimes I agree with their theories…or parts of them, I should say.  You see, the problem I have is that I know something about detection systems in various types of analytical instruments and in the most complex analytical instrument: the human body.  So I know we’re way too limited in our detection ability to figure out the universe.  It makes me laugh.  And besides, so what if we do figure it out?  It’s like this: If we figure out how to get through a worm hole into another dimension, what will we do when we get there?  Have a snack?  Do lunch?  This stuff cracks me up.  It’s really funny to me!  I mean, there might not BE chocolate in another dimension, so why would we want to go anyway?  On the other hand, I might still weigh in at 118 pounds so…where’s the shuttle?

I’m a smart cookie, but I still can’t wrap my head around infinity and trust me, I’ve thought about it.  But the truth is, no mere mortal can understand infinity because it’s just not possible.  Oh stop it.  I know what you’ll say: Infinity means there’s no end, that the system goes on forever.  Okay…explain it.  I mean really, keep talking until everybody really gets it.  Meet you at the cemetery.

See, that’s the problem.  But if you listen to physicists…and okay I do…they get downright giddy about the latest theory about…well EVERYTHING… but especially issues related to our ‘universe’.  Okay, so now there’s a name for the ‘stuff’ that holds the ‘stuff’ that started the big bang.  I was kind of disappointed to hear that; I thought they missed that little detail and I was enjoying that.  And now they have decided…some of them…that the universe is flat.  Well what a relief.  I thought it was just ever so slightly curved that we couldn’t detect the curvature and that made me lose sleep at night.  Well we now have data…the universe is flat.  I’m so glad.  What I’m really trying to say is: Who cares??

Except the people who are awake at three in the morning watching documentaries….and physicists.

Now we’re talking about membranes, where our galaxy resides kind of like a dot in a huge sheet flapping in the wind.  And there are supposedly multiple membranes that fluctuate and wave and occasionally touch and well what else could that do but create another universe?  Right.  Every time these membranes touch…BOOM!  New universe.  But we can’t SEE it.  See the beauty in being a theoretical physicist?  Tooth fairy, Santa Clause, ghosts, membranes.  I love this stuff.  I really do.

And…we still have parallel universes, in which I wholeheartedly believe.  If, they say, an electron can exist in many places at once, and electrons are some of the smallest building blocks of the universe; then surely we must be able to also exist in many places at once…dimensionally speaking.  And yes, that makes sense.  To me.  In another universe my ex was never even born.  See the beauty?

Now, we have the ‘bubble theory’.  Bubbles.  Guess which physicist was the giddiest about bubbles?  The California guy.  Go figure.  Our universe, in the minds of many California dudes I mean physicists, floats around like a bubble along with lots of other bubbles and may pop, or collide with other bubbles.  Dude!  That’s phat. I almost changed the channel on that one.  Guess where the California physicist was?  On the beach, of course!  hahaha.

Then they started talking about particle collision at the Fermi Institute.  The collider is far underground sheathed in protective material lest we create another universe or some such thing.  Now that’s something I’d like to see.  I would!  …but what if they move that sucker about 5000 more feet underground where conditions change just a smidgen?  Maybe there’s a simple California answer to that.  But my question is, if we get data, will we really know what we think we know?  By the mere act or method of observing, are we changing the data?   Well I think we are!  So there must be infinite answers and I want them all.

You gotta get this: if there are parallel universes, infinite ones…well there are infinite infinite test results right? Infinite ones here and infinite ones in allll of the other universes.  We don’t know, right?  We just don’t know.  I’m okay with that, can you tell?

The problem I have is that it always occurs to me that we’re pretty arrogant, we simple humans.  We are very busy trying to figure out the ‘universe’ when in essence, we’re still looking at ants through a magnifying glass.  We can’t even figure out what makes people want to kill one another and why are we not working on that?

We have no idea the limits (on the small side) of quantum physics, nor do we know how far our universe really goes.  I’ve always liked to think we were in the thumb of some giant being so large that we could never detect his movement.  Don’t laugh.  The California dude probably already thought of that.  And by the same token, look at your thumb.  It might hold many galaxies.

The bottom line is that we don’t know.  We’re not equipped to know, but we sure spend time and money trying to figure out where we came from and how can we get SOMEWHERE else…because we’re going to destroy our planet or it’s going to die a natural death.  There’s a good way around that…it has to do with sending our DNA out into the universe and spreading it around.  Then we can ‘survive’.  Oh that’s great, isn’t it?  We’ve just about destroyed THIS place; let’s go somewhere else and START AGAIN!

I’ll be dead, so…I don’t really care.

Still, I’d like to see more effort thrown into understanding PEOPLE.  What makes people cruel and heartless?  Why do some people have the kill gene and some do not?  How do we deactivate the kill gene and if we could, how could we stop overpopulation?  Well we’d have to, wouldn’t we?  Now that’s a good question, isn’t it?  Wouldn’t you rather know about that than cosmic bubbles, dude? Maybe not.

I love the Fermilab building though.  I might not like all of the wild theories, but the building?  Coolest I’ve ever seen. You should google it.  Seriously.