If you’ve read my latest post, you know I lost a beloved friend recently, to cancer. This death wasn’t the first in my close circle, but it was unique in many ways. Any death causes one to pause and reflect, not just on the life which has left, but also on the life we are left to live without that loved one. With Linda’s death, I could have spent a lot of time in deep grief…and I did go there, of course…but for some reason only God and Linda know, probably, I spent equally as much time reflecting on how many blessings I have in my life. That is exactly what Linda would have encouraged me to do, by the way, so we can assume there are some deep psychological urges at play as well as spiritual ones. Linda would have wanted all of us to focus on our blessings, rather than on the loss of her in our lives. She would have said that she’s not that important (though she was) and that she doesn’t want us to be sad. I know she’s in a better place, free of pain and suffering, and no longer limited by a failing, unreliable, limited human existence, but sorry Linda: still sad. But I also wonder what she’s seeing now, what she’s hearing, how marvelous is her existence now, without these limitations.
So to honor her, or because I know she would have wanted it, or because her spirit led me…I did reflect on my blessings, not the least of which is my wonderful group of friends. I have the best friends in the world. And I have more of them than I’ve ever had, notwithstanding my work addiction and my great need to avoid social gatherings every chance I get. Somehow, by God’s grace, I have gathered quite an impressive group of friends, each a jewel, unique and beautiful, into my life. One of them is gone in the physical sense but her place in my heart will forever belong to her.
I have been through Hell the past few years. So bad it was, that I said, “If Hell is ANYTHING like this, nobody should want to go there.” Yet…if not for that horrible part of my journey, I wouldn’t be here, in the midst of these people, living a life that is far more enriching than anything I’ve known so far. Interesting that the death of my dear friend would bring this realization to light.
So when I think of Linda, while I miss her terribly, I also smile, because I AM truly blessed. And Linda, I know you did this…