Like, I wonder, like, why I can’t like…get hired!


I overheard some college students talking about the economy.  Stop laughing.  I did.  I heard college students talking about the economy.  The focus was on jobs, since the one they were doing at the time was barely above minumum wage.  The conversation went something like this.

Like, I KNOW I’m smarter than like MOST of the…like…OTHER people who applied.  Like, the dude came out and like TOLD me I was like PERKY enough for the job.  And I was like, wow, thanks for calling me PERKY.  There were some, like, OLD people trying to like, get this job too.  And I’m like, what were THEY doing there?  And you know what was like WEIRD?  I told the dude that I was like YOUNG and so I like looked at things DIFFERENT than like old people.  He said something about a store display, like whether I liked it or not, and I said, I guess I like it because I’m like YOUNG. And then like, the only thing he said was I was like PERKY enough for the job. Which was like cool, but like, I thought he should like HIRE me.  I’m like really curious why he didn’t hire me.  Like, I can definitely do the job.  Seriously.  And, like, I will graduate in just a year.  DUDE, I just don’t get it.  And you know what’s WEIRD?  One of those like OLD people got hired.  DUDE!

To which the other student replied something like this:

Like, I’ll be finished with my BS degree and like, I’m going right into my masters degree.  So, like, when I start job hunting, like, I should have nooo problems.  Like, I want to get my education done like first.

So.  If I ever interview you… and I might someday… and you use the word “like”, you’re not hired, dude.

By the way, I know college students who have very intelligently thought out perspectives on the economy and you know…they have GREAT jobs.  They don’t say “dude”, except in fun, and they don’t pepper their entire sentence structure with “like”, either.  Come to think of it, I really LIKE these kids, too, and that’s how you use that word.

Now for the OTHER issue:

Advertising your youth the way this kid did is like showing off your lobotomy scar.  If you are a recent graduate, your brain isn’t even finished yet.  The intelligent among you already know that.  You others, don’t bash old people.  Seek their wisdom instead, because, contrary to popular belief, we have it…lots of it…  You could benefit from it if you saved all of the time you use up saying “like”, and listen instead.  DUDE!  I’m a genius.


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