Once in another lifetime, I owned a red Jaguar with light tan leather interior. It was one of my favorite cars ever. Beautiful, solid, tight, fast. Car. Car car car. I loved that car, and I had to have a good job, paying good money in order to afford it! I am talking about the Jaguar CAR.

I hope you have seen the new Jaguar ads, which have nothing to do with cars. Any cars. What they are, is a collection of woke…people…who knows what kind…trying to be unique and there are no CARS in sight or sound. But, they’re copying every other woke collection of people trying to be unique. This crap is getting old. Young people are STILL trying to be unique by copying everyone else! Maybe they don’t know what unique means. In any case, they copy their older brothers and sisters by trying to be unique. hahaha. You can’t make this stuff up. They are probably all middle children. Once AGAIN we see a collection of…people…trying to be as counterculture as they can manage…and it is SO BORING, so already done.

But I digress. Jaguar is…uh, WAS… one of the MOST sought-after cars with the iconic hood ornament that NOBODY could afford unless you were buying an old, used one. Like I did. Ah, but not now. heh heh heh. Watch what happens to this brand. Ever hear of Bud Light? Ever hear of ‘Go woke; go broke’? The new ads actually advertise counterculture wokism, not cars, which as we all know is the giant kiss of death.

I saw their new ‘ad’ and my exact response was, “Ah CRAP there goes Jaguar”. I’m not wrong. I haven’t BEEN wrong with my predictions. This means I’m mainstream, I guess. But I WILL mourn the murder of Jaguar. Bud Light, I didn’t care, except that I didn’t have to watch that guy in a woman costume anymore. I didn’t drink Bud anything. Tractor Supply had a close brush, and I will never shop at Target again. No biggie. But for the murder of Jaguar, I weep.

Wait, is it murder? Or is it suicide? I think it’s suicide. If it is suicide, then they get exactly EXACTLY what they deserve. Goodbye Jaguar. I will miss you.

And all of the Jag owners, probably out to eat in an expensive restaurant, wearing expensive clothes, looking well manicured and young…You are the end of the age of coolness.